Adventure & Passion

A few months ago -it seems like yesterday!- I discovered that being a gypsie is not necessarily a bad thing. January and Februrary brought amazing provision as I began making a home for myself. March, on the other hand, rolled in, bringing with it once again the longing of my now fully gypsied soul for adventure, for greener grasses, and for excitement. My job had taken a slow spin since I was not yet fully trained and ready for all my coming assignments. Other circumstances in my life were having me wonder if I was in the right place, if I belonged to something "greater," if I should be still searching for home. Opportunities for "more exciting" jobs seemed to run through my inbox; a realization of friends leaving and moving on to the next step in life was hitting me with full force and brutality; and suddenly having options for which Masters to pick became an unsolveable dilemna. I was restless. I needed "adventure." I wanted something "greater." I didn't want to let go of friendships and watch God work in their lives in other places.

Last weekend, though, I was able to take a little getaway trip. Even though it was for academic purposes, God used it to completely shift my perspective. I LOVE IT when He does that!

• My home is where His heart is. It's as simple as that! I need to look no further. Where He has placed me is where I belong.
• Naturally, people come and go. My job is to make the most of my time with them, no matter how long or short it is, to be a blessing to them, to enjoy every moment.
• My life IS an adventure in and of itself -if I let God take control and if I live my life fully. I don't need to travel the world, take the Gospel to foreign lands, or open a tradepost in the middle of the Rocky Mountains. Here. Now. Today. Is when God's adventure calls me.

So I created a new motto... Not aimless wanderings but ADVENTURE. Not mindless obsessions but PASSION.

What's next? I'M READY!

Thoughts on my True Love

You cradle my so fragile heart
That falls easily to a worldy dart
That cowards at earth's quick rots
That withholds secrets and private thoughts

You desire to change my mind
That struggles against today's grind
That fears at fleeting castles in sand
That forgets Your controlling hand

You chase my wandering soul
That drives after only a fool
That follows lies and other words
That becomes vulnerable to swords

You are my constant who never leaves
You, to my soul a King who cleaves,
You wrap my all in a pure embrace
And promise wholeness face to face

You will carry me on an angelic wing
Your name and glory I will sing
Finally united with You and fellow travelers
No more separation or sinful surrenders

Intimidated by Your Love

I don’t think I have shared with you yet my deep appreciation for Bethany Dillon songs. It seems that every time I listen to them, they either pierce my soul with conviction or put my deepest thoughts into words. She just seems to know how to say what I really need to hear or how to express how I truly feel.

I have been thinking a lot about how my concept of LOVE is far, very far, from God’s concept of this mysterious force that emboldens mothers to desire to take their children’s place in pain, that moves a man and a woman to seek to give up their differences, and that motivated a holy God to sacrifice His own Son for a selfish world lost in darkness, suffering, and shame. To me, love doesn’t happen unless it is shared, becomes a strong mutual feeling, or isn’t reality until it is recognized and embraced by all the involved parties. How many times am I moved to love someone because I can see accompanying benefits or a promise of returned love?

This may be a very human perception of love –but oh how inaccurate is it! We have so perverted and stained our concept of love that we can no longer recognize it when it is there, present, and at work…and fail to even grasp a glimpse of God’s powerful, UNCONDITIONAL love for us. Because that’s what true LOVE is –it is unconditional.

The Bible speaks of this love on many occasions. I John 4:19 states that God loved us way before we even thought about loving Him. James 4:6-10 and Jeremiah 29 distinctively relate the idea that long before we decided to grab His hand, it was outstretched towards us, simply waiting for us to call upon His love and claim it our own. God loves unconditionally –and He never stops loving us, even when we think He does due to our human, small conception of love. One of my favorite Bethany Dillon songs “So Close” alludes to this idea: for a major part of the song, Bethany talks about how easily we fall into sin, into prideful negligence of His Word, and into a feeling of distance between the Lord and us. However, she concludes her song with a powerful truth: He never once turned His heart away, even when we felt so far away. He was always “so close.” We are the ones with wandering hearts; but HE is always so close, even when we feel so far away from Him. Now that’s love.

So what now? What must we –I –do about this love? I want to challenge us –I want to challenge me! –to truly LOVE…love through a transformed mind (Romans 12:2): love boldly, love humbly, love sacrificially, love fearlessly, love unconditionally, love without expecting anything in return…Love the LORD with all your heart, mind, and soul…and love others as yourself (Matthew 22:37-40).