Norfolk Notes

We like to think that we can’t live without something, and as a result, we put restrictions on the will of God for our lives because we don’t think we could be in a certain place or without a specific convenience. I remember beginning to explore this falsehood and its opposing truth almost two years ago now (see December 2012 posts), but God thought it crucial to remind me this morning in a new, refreshing way.

On a business trip to Norfolk, VA, I had a few minutes for some leisure time. Of course, my sense of adventure refused to lock me in my room and encouraged my legs to take my heart to follow its pursuit: exploring the down-town waterside harbor. Engulfing the morning wind and eaves-dropping on the conversation of seagulls, my soul soared, reflecting on the words I had read earlier in the morning: “let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer everyone” (Col. 4:6). That I may KNOW –so much confidence and power in that five letter word! Whatever conversation I would be placed in during this trip, my key to success would be consistently filling myself with His truth and trusting Him to speak for me if I let Him. And the same promise would apply to any future trips.

As I continued to walk along the wooden paneled dock, the fresh air revived me. It’s so easy to become confused and conflicted in this world, its cares, its pressures and expectations, and thus forget the Source of life. My mission here is not to be comfortable or within my limits; and it may not consist of always choosing whom or how I serve. Sure, God places preferences on my heart but I cannot let those dictate where I go. He, and He alone, must lead. And as He leads and I follow, He provides my soul with what it truly needs. If I commit to be fed by Him, He will provide my soul the refreshment it needs. Cities can overwhelm a country spirit like mine; yet Norfolk’s treasures show me that God provides me with what I need to find my solace.

Walking back to my hotel, I realized not only I had found the fresh air my body craved but so my soul had been refreshed too, grown closer to my faithful Leader and providing Creator.

The Falsehood of Control

It’s fun to control –or, at least, it can be satisfying to THINK we control. At times, we may find comfort in this assumption or may seek our purpose in it. Only temporary peace resides, though, with this quickly fleeting role.

Recently, a young woman chose to take her life to avoid the suffering that was accompanying her slow surrender to a brain tumor. Often coined by the media a heroic act to die with dignity, her death caused uproar in a United States battling a cultural and moral war for years now. Did Brittany Maynard not have the right to die and hold the choice for her timing of death in her hands? This question ran its course, from churches to bars and from social media to philosophical debacles.

What the debate seemed to forget was that Brittany Maynard’s act is not so foreign from any of our daily actions, words, and thoughts. Every day, we try to begin or end things for which we do not really own the authority to command in the first place. Even in our places of rightful leadership, we tend to forget our positions are only temporary and allowed by the Sovereign God of the universe to use for HIS glory and purposes. How often do we abuse what He has entrusted us with? 

We can criticize Brittany Maynard all day long for her very human choice, but if we were to look more closely and with more humility, whom would we really see in her decision? Ourselves –yes, simply, purely ourselves.

Who, then, is really in control?

I will let you ponder the answer until my next post…

From the Blind

Pirate is a horse with only one eye. Yet, his trust towards his rider baffles me. Embracing adventures across the fields and woods, Pirate walks, trots, and canters with energy and enthusiasm. He is unafraid of the unseen but presses on with a seeming joy and carefreeness that often many other horses don’t exhibit. Oh, if only he knew what he teaches me…

I used to think that by age 23, I would have everything figured out. There is nothing more false than that childhood fantasy! In fact, it seems that my questions have only increased, my insecurities have only become more revealed, my lack of adequacy only more present, and my unknown future has turned into an understatement. But if I focus on what I do not know, I can only find discouragement and frustration. If I focus on dreams and on imagination, I will only find insignificance.

“Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.”[1]

No, I cannot focus on these things I lack, the prayers answered with “wait” or “no,” the thorns never removed, or even the dreams that may or may not come to pass, and the future I think I desire. These thoughts only become little gods that displace my Sovereign Lord from His rule in my life and His work through me. I can only focus on the gifts that He has given me today, knowing that these little steps are mine to take for His Kingdom. “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand” (Proverbs 19:21).

You see, you and I have it all wrong. It’s so easy to believe that this life is about us, about our castles in sands, about our dreams and goals coming to pass, about seeing fruits to our labor, and about our little worlds. Yes, God does choose to use our work –but He could still accomplish His plan without us. All He needs to do is speak, and that which He commanded comes to pass. “So shall My word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to Me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11).

Rather, what He desires most is for me to know Him more, for me to want Him more, and for me to glorify Him more through this growing relationship with Him. It’s not about rules and laws followed or the number of other souls I reach but about my heart truly loving Him. “For You will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; You will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise” (Psalm 51:16-17). Part of wanting Christ more, loving Him more, and glorifying Him more is learning to trust Him more and more, day by day –even in the dark, in the questions, in the pain, in the battles, in the struggles, in the failures, in the long hours of work. Just like Pirate, I need to embrace God’s adventures for me across the fields and woods of life, as He opens and closes the doors, one at a time, or a thousand all at once. In His strength and the confidence He gives me, I can go any speed He needs me to through the various seasons of my journey here –with energy and enthusiasm straight from His heart. I can be unafraid of the unseen and press on with true, secure joy and carefreeness…and watch Him use me to teach others about His truths.

“Eyes On You” –Shane & Shane

I don't know which way to go
But my eyes are on You
I don't know which way to turn
But my ears are to the ground
You say that I can hear Your voice
So I am listening

All I know is that I believe
It's not with my eyes that I can see
I'm a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me
There's a vision now in another eye
You've given sight to a man inside;
Of a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me

I still don't know which way to go
But my eyes are on You
I still don't know which way to turn
But my ears are to the ground
As long as You are lifted up
I don't have to understand

All I know is that I believe
It's not with my eyes that I can see
I'm a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me
There's a vision now in another eye
You've given sight to a man inside;
Of a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me

The battle is the Lord's
So I'll walk towards You in the dark
Cause I know that in the end we win
So I'm all in
Lead me I'm Yours

All I know is that I believe
It's not with my eyes that I can see
I'm a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me
There's a vision now in another eye
You've given sight to a man inside;
Of a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me

There's a vision now in another eye
You've given sight to a man inside;
Of a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me

---

[1] From “Be Thou My Vision”

Grateful for this Season

I have always been captivated by the riveting story of Esther: her story of survival and courage in a culture that despised all she held dear is commendable…and a chilling reminder that we are only a breath away from having to face some of the same decisions and consequences in our lives, whether we realize it or not, or whether we believe that they have the same consequences that Esther’s did. In the last few days, I began a more in-depth study of this book through a plan that selects very few verses at a time and links them to a verse in another book. Since the plan offers no hints to their correlation, I, in my go-getter mind, have more than enjoyed the challenge.

On the beginning day, the first pair intrigued me: how could Esther 1:1-4 be linked to Matthew 6:9-21? The Lord began to draw the lines between the dots for me, leaving me in awe at the deepness of the Scriptures once unseen to me. As I continued into the study, the theme of idolatry began to stand out.

It’s easy to believe that idolatry only involves the worship of stone or wooden sculptures. It is easy to believe that we are not breaking one of God’s highest commandments.

Yet, idolatry comes in much more subtle forms too. It creeps in when we are not paying attention, stunting our growth in the Lord, robbing our full attention from His gaze, and warping our passions into our self-glorification. I don’t know where King Xerxes’s idolatry began –perhaps it was in self-absorption, or in his riches and possessions, or in making his genealogy proud. But by the time of his life displayed in Esther 1, it has become so prevalent. Portrayed as a man consumed with his well-being, his welfare before the people, and his riches, Xerxes appears to have it all –including the power to deem what is right or wrong. In fact, at his week-long party, he encourages his guests to do anything they please (v. 10 –strangely reminiscent of Judges 17:6 and 21:25).

But idolatry weakens our hearts, minds, and souls and opens the doors to other sins too. Once we remove God from all or specific parts of our lives, things start to fall apart. When I consider some of my biggest mistakes and failures, I realize that it was when God was no longer my priority: spending time in His Word was on the back-burner, praying was a mumbled last-minute guilt-trip, and accountability with other believers was inexistent.

Xerxes’ life follows this trend: his idolatry opened the door to so much distress. In verses 9-18, the king loses any form of discernment or self-control. Not only does Xerxes lack the discernment to see what calling for Vashti could do to compromise her honorable identity as queen, but he also exhibits strong lack of self-control in her stand against him: instead of quietly dismissing the matter or recognizing his error, he becomes enraged before turning to warped advice: leaving Vashti unpunished will result in national chaos. We know what then happens to Vashti…she is divorced and replaced.

Idolatry has consequences –on us and on other people.

Idolatry can come in the most subtle manners, and as I reflect on decisions for my future, I am so thankful that God has moved me to start recognizing idolatry, its dangers, and its hindering consequences. Putting God first-place is definitely not an easy choice. BUT IT IS WORTH IT. I am so glad He chastens me and removes things from my life because He loves me too much to allow me lesser things, including a distorted relationship with Him. Psalm 73 was quoted in a sermon I heard on Sunday, so I looked more at the context: the Psalmist was devastated by the seeming victories of evil doers –and felt worthless before God in light of his own failures. Yet, he was able to find hope in God and His grace. Truly walking by faith comes to a whole new level when you realize your relationship with Jesus is the only thing you have that will last forever –nothing else is everlasting: not your possessions, not your relationships, not your popularity, nor your health or success.  

Sometimes, God allows pain so that it will draw us closer to Him. He allows punishment for us, His sons and daughters through the blood of Christ. He closes doors when we don’t have the strength to do so ourselves. Even when evil seems to prosper and causes us to be envious of its prosperity, we must remember its victories are NOT forever. Our GOD is enough.

In closing, I must summarize thoughts I heard in a sermon on the radio this evening. Paul went through similar seasons in life as we did, except perhaps on a much more pronounced level at times. In II Cor. 12, he explains that God had granted him a special revelation…but had also allowed a “thorn in the flesh” to keep Paul humble –and boastful only in Christ. This attitude is how we should view our pain, our trials, and our challenges in our lives: opportunities to stay humble, to removes our forming idols, and to only glorify our LORD. “For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (v. 10). Each time I go through trial or pain, it seems that it only reaches deeper into my soul, affects me more strongly, or challenges my faith like never before –but I know it also strengthens me as I never dreamed and trains my human eyes to see His unseen and to become closer to His heart. As the radio preacher stated so powerfully, “The pain keeps you humble and His strength brings victory despite it.” As difficult as it is to admit or type this, I know I must be GRATEFUL for these seasons of pain, trial, unknown, and endurance –because they are also seasons of growth in my Savior.

Needy

Today, sitting at my desk filing paperwork and attempting to solve office problems, I felt tired.

Tired because of the check-list. Tired because of graduate demands. Tired because of the prayer list. Tired because of God’s clear answers and His mysteries. Tired because of the mountains. Tired because of the valleys. Tired because of my calling and my dreams. Tired because of the past, present, and future. Tired because of life.

Tired.

God, thank You for moments like these. Thank You for times when I’m simply tired.

It’s when I’m so tired and I have no time to pause that I can be so reminded of Your strength in my weakness, of Your glory in my worthlessness, of Your plan in my darkness, and of Your provision in my need. It’s when I’m so tired that I see that anything good in me and any accomplishment is but Your sovereign grace…because it glorifies You.

Today I am so glad I am tired. I am so glad I am needy.

Being needy throws me at the feet of Jesus, right where I should be.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:28-29). The Christian life is definitely not about finding an easy pass to life. However, it is about finding strength not from ourselves but from the Creator of the universe. We should see the challenges, the fatigue, and the mysteries as check-points for us as to where our anchor truly is resting. When all seems well, it becomes so easy to forget our human frailty and neediness. But I Peter 1:24 challenges us to see our true dusty composition. We, along with the earthly treasures we idolize so much, fade away so quickly.  We are needy. So needy.

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God (Psalm 42:5).

We are so needy, but that’s okay: He is all we need. 

But. Love.

As we pass through the seasons of life, we expect certain revelations from God –truths promised at last explained, answers begged for provided, and prayers met as we sought fit. Even though we repeat to ourselves that His ways are higher and better (Isaiah 55:8-9), we still act surprised when He answers in another way, when He brings us the unexpected, or when He sheds light on an issue not searched.

But. Love.

Love is what brings us the outcomes of our prayers, the results of our endurance, and the insight on His nature, even if none are what we had asked or wished for. In His love, He allows every detail. Even the tears. Even the heartache. Even the unexplained. Even the answered questions. Even the waiting. And even the unexpected insight. After all, some say that true love comes when you least expect it.

In our blinded mindsets, it’s easy to place love in a box. To quote one of my favorite songs,

Have you ever seen true love
And do you know what it's made of,
And where it came from?

Or could it be the world has left you blind
And every day you pass it by,
You don't even recognize it.

Recently, God has stretched some of my understandings of love, opening my eyes to some of the everlasting greatness of His love. True love would give anything, expecting nothing in return, expecting neither future nor promise of it. True love fights and endures when nothing makes sense. True love means praying in faith, trusting God’s sovereignty in the unseen. True love is not blind but accepts the mistakes –past, present, and future. True love sees the potential but victoriously endures through the reality. True love knows how to give space, to let go, and to establish boundaries. True love proclaims and lives out the promises of God.

We are lost in a world of chaos, misery, despair, lies, and destruction.

But. Love.

True love came down to save us and awaits for us to claim it personally into our lives. This love is the love of God as displayed through the sacrifice of His only Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus gave everything for us, yet expected nothing in return; in fact, He knew even our greatest songs of worship and acts of service would be but rags (Isaiah 64:6). He fought the temptations of Satan in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11) and endured the torture of the cross. Before His crucifixion, Jesus could be found on His knees, yielding His future to His Sovereign Father (Luke 22:42). When we approach Jesus, He, as God, is far from blind to all the sins we have committed…and will still fall to. Yet, He still comes when we call and promises grace to those who humble themselves before Him (James 4:6). Countless times we fail Him yet He still chooses to use us for the growth of His Kingdom (Mark 16:15). Yes, Jesus even gives us space –He knows only in our free will can we come to truly follow Him. In His holiness, He must establish boundaries –and in His perfection, every word and action of Christ is in accordance to His Word.

Yes. But. Love. Will you choose it? Will you embrace it?
Will you love like He loves?

Through Roses and Thorns

“In the world you will have tribulation” (John 16:33).

We have been promised this since day one. When Jesus came to earth to bring to pass the ultimate needed sacrifice for our salvation, He challenged His wanna-be followers that the road would be hard. It wasn’t really a matter of if, but rather when.

It’s easy to trick ourselves into thinking that our life path should be lined with roses. If you are a dreamer like me, it becomes easy to believe that the other side is greener, that once the goal is reached or the dream is lived, everything will be “just roses.” We writers often glory in the “happy endings” we can bring our stories to at our own whim and in our own timing. I am not advocating an attitude of martyrdom; but while God definitely blesses us beyond our sinful nature deserves, even rose bushes have thorns. Every season of life has its ups and downs, its glories and disappointments, its roses and its thorns.

Amy Carmichael, one of my favorite missionaries who has produced beautiful writing collections of honest and sincere faith before the Lord, challenges us with these words: “The Lord Jesus made it plain from the beginning that there would be trail of many kinds for all who would follow Him, and He Himself led the way in that path. Should we be surprised when we find ourselves following in His footsteps?” No, we should not be surprised. We should be humbled and moved to worship that He would call us to follow Him, even though our greatest works are rags and our best of intentions are tainted by our sinful nature. “He wants us all to understand quite definitely that if we follow in the way of the cross we must be prepared to take up the cross,” Carmichael continues. The way is long and difficult. It’s narrow and can be discouraging. It hurts and attempts to destroy us. Even on sunny days and through rows of roses we find thorns.

But this is where joy steps in. This is where being a follower of Christ comes to light.

When hardships and suffering hit, “you are now in a very good position to prove that gift of joy… [Now] is the time to prove the things we believe. Your whole life now is a proving of His power to enable you to do anything. You will never be able to fear again, I think, after all this.” Amy Carmichael hits it again: hardships only remind us of our existing frailty and incompetence that we so easily forget about when all seems to be going our way with little effort. Hardships remind us of our need of the cross –and serve as reminders to others of the glory and victory that comes only through Jesus Christ. Hardships turn us to the heart of Christ and invigorate us with fearless yet graceful strength that will not run dry. This morning when I read Proverbs 18, verse 10 struck me powerfully: “The name of the Lord is a strong tower” –SIMPLY HIS NAME declares His power and security.

We must come to “glory in our infirmities” (II Corinthians 12:9); we must come to the point where we are grateful for the hardships and challenges; we must welcome the opportunities to make more of His glory and power known. “Looking back, I know I would not have chosen any other [path with thorns] if I could have known when first I began to walk in it what it would mean of His companionship, and also of the power to enter into the griefs of others. It was all worthwhile, ten thousand times worthwhile.” It’s true. Trials draw us closer to Him and teach us things about Him and others that we would never even come close to comprehending without these difficult moments. They teach us to love more and be filled with His heart and mind. They show us His ways and open our eyes to His unseen, broadening our impact for His Kingdom and widening our opportunities to glorify Him.

In closing, let’s look at John 16:33 in its entirety: “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” We are not alone.

And through Him, we overcome the world too –even through the roses and thorns.

Why Does It Hurt?

Words can be the deadliest of weapons, the most grieving attacks to the human heart, mind, and soul –the cause of the most pain, suffering, and doubt.

Whether or not the words are true, they hurt. They are like darts piercing even through the most calloused heart, the most trained mind, and the strongest soul. They launch at the very being, the core of who we are, and at our very identity. Who we are becomes insignificant, a bother, worthless, and a waste. Even when others try to console us or our logic denies the legitimacy of the attacks, somehow the words echo and take over our thinking, paralyzing our judgment and crippling our efficacy.

Why is it so easy to fall to these attacks? Why is it so easy to believe the words? Why does it hurt?

Because deep down inside, we cannot deny our sinful nature –and our flesh and the enemy like to take advantage of this confession. We know that even if those exact words and accusations were not true, surely we must be guilty of something. And trust me: satan is quick to remind us of our failures, of our vulnerabilities, and of our struggles. He craves to have us dwell on them. If he cannot get us to fall, he will get us to become enslaved to a fearful victim mentality. As so powerfully said in a sermon I heard recently, “the fight for faith is the fight for joy.” Darkness wants us to lose our efficiency for the Kingdom –and it starts by stealing our joy.

So what can we do?

No, we are not to deny our human frailty, our double mindedness, our sinful nature and desires. Rather, we are actually supposed to admit and confess them. But confessions are not the last step –they are only the first. These should become our testimony, our indication to the world of the general need for Christ, and a declaration of His amazing power and love. Our brokenness then only becomes an opportunity for Christ to work and for us to declare His glory (from Standing Firm by Donna Partow).

If you are battling the hurt of words today, remember who you are IN THE LORD. Don’t turn to your own worth or accomplishments because those do not stand. Any things we view as good in our lives are but rags in the eyes of a holy God (Isaiah 64:6). Rather, place your worth and boast in Jesus Christ alone: “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (II Cor. 12:9). The next time someone tells or makes you feel you are worthless, tell them it is true BUT that Christ has made you worthy through the power of His blood in His perfect sacrifice. “We have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us” (II Cor. 4:7). Our lives, our accomplishments, our growth, and our prides are but jars of clay –they shatter so easily! But God can still use them because He wants and chooses to –because to Him goes all the glory and praise. “So that, as it is written, ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord’” (I Cor. 1:31).

"No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper; and every tongue that will rise against you in judgment you will condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, says the LORD." -Is. 54:17

THERE IS POWER IN THE NAME OF JESUS

The Shadow of Death

“We as Americans are so blessed and do not have to fear death as much as so many children do around the world,” I commented to the small group of young girls gathered around me at the fire pit. “But a lot of times it feels like we are dying inside –and that can be just as scary.” Several of the girls nodded their heads at me. I could see their thoughts racing, remembering challenging situations their young years had already seen.

It’s true. Dying inside is scary.

It’s as if we were walking, alone and aimless, through a forest of deep, swallowing green, with no clear path but briars and thorns instead catching at our bare arms. It feels like darts are being thrown at our heart, at our very being, or at what we love most –but no one else can really see them.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.

This often quoted Psalm used to always make me think of desperate physical situations: soldiers surrounded by the enemy, struggling just to stay alive and committed to their country; a child fighting for his life after being hit by a car; or an elderly person slipping away from this world into eternity. But now I know. Death is not always what is seen or broadcasted on the news. Being challenged by the people we love, making life-impacting decisions, and choosing the narrow path of Christ –all these can make us feel like we are dying inside.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for You are with me.

Contrary to an often believed myth of our comfort-loving culture, Christ never promised us an easy road. In fact, usually when an individual approached Him about the possibility of following Him, Jesus challenged this person immediately: it would be hard and possibly life-threatening.  His followers are to love nothing above Christ; their commitment to Christ must come first –and this requirement could mean much, much sacrifice. Possessions, comfort, family, desires, dreams, always being right, always getting the last word, and life itself -these no longer had first priority. In Standing Firm, Donna Partow states to her readers, “We want to live in a world where one plus one always equals two; a place where IF you do this, THEN you get that. Sadly, that’s not the real world.” And, though, we are no longer of this world, we are definitely still in its dark, sinful, hurtful environment. In fact, Christ followers ATTRACT the darts of evil (John 15:19).

YET, even in the valley of the shadow of death, He is there. “Even there will Your hand lead me, and Your right hand will hold me” (Psalm 139:10). When we think God is not at work, HE IS –it’s simply that His thoughts are not ours but higher and better (Isaiah 55:8-9). Somehow, He is speaking as much as ever, just not in the words, language, or volume we may think or prefer. A stranger’s prayer, a startling message, a quiet sense of peace by the pond in the evening, a surprise in the mail–He is at work. 

23 and Counting

A week ago, I turned 23.

The halfway point of summer is rushing past us –humid days and crickets singing; birds chirping early and warm, subtle breezes; new songs on the radio and endless adventures. My birthday came and went, once again, full of surprises and memories, cards and wishes. I’ve reached twenty-three –I’m in the middle of what my parents always said was the age they missed the most.

George Eliot was right: “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” I am amazed by God’s faithfulness. Ever since I can remember, all I’ve wanted to do was play with horses and write, write, WRITE. Growing up brought a variety of interests that at times seemed to be unrelated tangents to my life plan. They took me on journeys here and there, but I believe they were firmly part of God’s overall plan, growth, and formation of me. Yet, He kept drawing me back to my first loves: horses and the pen. Little by little, far after I thought my time was past, He opened doors of opportunities I never thought I would have. Yet, He proved loud and clear that Amy Carmichael’s words were true. “It is a safe thing to trust Him to fulfill the desires He creates.”

In the past year, my horse-related opportunities have only continued. Volunteering at my local horse ministry and horse sitting before or after work have served as a continual reminder of where my heart truly lies. What is my job then now, when I cannot fully pursue this calling it seems? I am required to be faithful now and take advantage of all the opportunities present at the moment, fully trusting the Lord to continue to open further doors if He so chooses to be glorified so.

I do not know what my future holds. In a world of pain and adversity, I am not guaranteed tomorrow. Every breath, really, is a gift. In fact, the Bible encourages me to number my days and handle them wisely (Proverbs 90:12). However, I know that 24 will bring me only more testimonies of God’s faithfulness.

Today, I am 23, only left humbled –and counting His abundant works of faithfulness. 

Tearing Down Our High Places

Do you have an idol in your house? Perhaps a glowing shrine, a molded image, or a prized genie in a bottle? Chances are you jumped to your response, almost offended that I even ask you that: No! Of course not! That’s against one of the Ten Commandments!

You are correct: the forbearance of idols and other graven images does belong in God’s law: “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God…” (Exodus 20:4-5).

Throughout I & II Kings, I discovered a people of God absolutely living the life in the Promised Land. Undoubtedly, they knew days of drought and challenges, but prosperity and success often came their way too. They had certainly not forgotten God: they had built Him a beautiful, spectacular house, after all. They revered the Lord who had delivered them from Egypt and turned to Him for help when enemy invaders would threaten. They sometimes had zealots, too, preach across the land, like Elijah, Elisha, and Isaiah –they were sometimes far-fetched to many, though, begging for wholehearted revival before the face of a holy, righteous God who does not tolerate apathy or self-destruction forever. Their kings were not always bad, though; in fact, several of them actually followed the Lord and cared about His commandments –but why bother destroying the high places? They didn’t really believe in them anyways… They couldn’t really impact them or hinder their growth in the Lord. They couldn't really impact their testimony.

This society sounds normal and average to us. We make time for God when we can, stick a memory verse here and there, believing more in the power of the post-it than in that of the Word. Worship services have become a competition, while we forget that thousands of believers must meet in secret across the world…and we forget the price that was paid for us to even approach the throne of God.

This life has become normal to us. It is yours, and it is mine.

We try to follow the Lord –we check off our devotions from our to-do lists, we obey the laws and regulations –mostly, or so we firmly try to convince ourselves. But have we destroyed our high places? To quote a song by Tenth Avenue North, what DO we know of holy?

II Kings reveals a time of great social change and unrest. A collection of kings ruled a now split Promised Land. Many were evil and replaced sincere, pure, and Spirit-led worship of the One true God with Satan-driven awe of everything else. Sacrifices of humans became prevalent, along with other pagan practices. Occasionally, a well-intentioned king would step in. He would seek the Lord, attempt to obey the commandments –but the Bible frequently states that these kings did not destroy the high places (II Kings 14:3-4). The true problem remained: the heart and God’s place in it.

We all have these high places. When we cling to these -whether they be outward or inward gods- we displace God of His rightful authority and sovereignty. Of course not all of these may be inherently evil, but if they take the place of God in our lives, they do become just the same as sin. We must pray for the discernment to identify these, as well as the humility to let God pull these out of our hearts, minds, and souls. From the desire for success to the craving for friendship, from the pursuit of dreams to the pride of the heart, from the dangers of covetousness to the slavery of always wanting to be right –all of these can be our high places.

We should be the zealots. We should be those preaching the Gospel at the risk of sounding like maniacs. We should be standing out and standing alone for the sake of Christ. We should be yielded to the work of the Spirit that we can run faster than kings in chariots drawn by the fastest, best horses (I Kings 18: 46). We should be seeking God’s still, small voice in the chaos that surrounds us (I Kings 19:12). We should be so filled with the power of God that our enemies can only ask where does our confidence come from (II Kings 18:19-20).

But we cannot live like this without giving up lesser things. To live like this, we need to tear down our high places. 

To Write or Not To Write -That Is the Question

Writing –thoughts put to words; songs of hurt or praise; prayers of plea, of deliverance, or of rejoicing; emotions placed between the parameters of a dictionary; truth expressed with flawed vocabulary. Writing is powerful –it always has been- and maybe even more powerful than the tongue. Writing lasts, is less easily forgotten, and now with modern technology, can convey opinions and facts across the world within seconds.

Maybe that’s why I John so heavily stressed his motives behind the writing of his letter. The writer knew the power of words –of the written.

Because I love writing so much, I found great encouragement, challenge, and guidance in his reasons for writing. I, too, should strive to match my scribbles to his standards. 

1.       “and these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full” (1.4)
JOY –there it is again! The beautiful result of salvation and of full surrender to the Lord. In my writing, I must seek to move people to discard discouragement to rather embrace joy. While I must speak truth and truth may hurt, I must speak it in love because love is the most powerful tool of change and of redemption (I Peter 4:8).

2.       “these things write I unto you, that you sin not” (2.1)
I must write to encourage others to cast away sin. As stated above, I must speak the truth –and truth often includes the pointing out of sin. Writing so can be challenging for many because we so easily follow the cultural trend of the fear of intolerance. But God does not tolerate sin (Habakkuk 1:13).

3.       “I write no new commandment unto you, but an old commandment which you have had from the beginning. The old commandment is the word which you have heard from the beginning.” (2.7)
This is beautiful. The Word of God does not change; His truth has always been the same, from the Old Testament through the New Testament, from the beginning to the end through eternity. I have no right to add or take away from His truth –I must write only according to His Word (Revelation 2:19).

4.       “Again, a new commandment I write unto you, which thing is true in him and in you: because the darkness is past, and the true light now shines” (2.8)
Yet, while the theme of Scripture has never changed, the Gospel stands in stark contrast with the legalism of old that had been wrongfully concluded from God’s commandments and standards of holiness. To those who had twisted His Words, the Gospel was new: it was freedom.  Today, the Gospel is still so new to so many. Thousands across the world and in our own neighborhoods still have never heard or read the truth about JESUS. My writing should direct the hearts of my readers to this amazing grace; my writing should have the power to carry itself throughout my Judea and Samaria and across the ends of the earth (Acts 1:8).

5.       “I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for his name’s sake. I write unto you, fathers, because you have known Him that is from the beginning. I write unto you, young men, because ye have overcome the wicked one. I write unto you, little children, because you have known the Father. I have written unto you, fathers, because you have known him that is from the beginning. I have written unto you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the wicked one.” (2.12-14)
God’s Word is applicable to everyone, to every age, to every maturity level. While uncompromising the truth, my writing should seek to pursue all groups…and should offer food to all who come with an open heart (I Peter 2:2-3).

6.       “I have not written unto you because you know not the truth, but because you know it, and that no lie is of the truth.” (2.21)
My writing should not only target nonbelievers but also those who already believe. As a Christian, I have the responsibility to outreach to those around me and raise them up as God empowers me in Christ’s name (Titus 2:1-6). I can’t stop with spreading the Good News of salvation but I must encourage discipleship and growth too.

7.       “These things have I written unto you concerning them that seduce you.” (2.26)
My words must warn of Satan’s deceptive ways. He walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour (I Peter 5:8). Any believer is vulnerable!

8.       “These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that you have eternal life, and that you may believe on the name of the Son of God.” (5.13)

This is probably the most important guideline for my writing: I must point my readers to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. My readers should walk away from their computer or close out of my blog posts having a better sense about their inadequacy before God’s holiness, their need for Jesus day by day, and His free offering to them of salvation through His name alone by humble faith (Matthew 18:13).

 Now I must rise to the challenge: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer” (Psalm 19:14).

DELIGHT.

I just finished reading Deuteronomy, and I never expected to be so blessed and so touched by that book as I have been for the past couple weeks. There is so much I could write about it, and maybe I’ll focus more posts on some of its many, rich themes, but for now I’d like to spend time on DELIGHT in the Lord. It stuck out much, much more than in the previous books of the Pentateuch.

Yes, there is definitely throughout Deuteronomy still a strong emphasis on the laws the Jews were expected to follow. But something much more powerful than the law shine through as well –an emotion and a commitment, both wrapped up so powerfully in the life and truth offered by the Word. My Bible commentary mentioned that Deuteronomy contains one of the first declarations of God’s love for His people. This in turn works as motivation for the people to turn to this God and to His love. After all, I John 4:19 confesses, “We love Him, because He first loved us.”

This love, I think, when it grows, turns into DELIGHT. Deuteronomy 10:12-13 provides a beautiful summary of the Ten Commandments, as well as a revealing testimony of truly delighting in the Lord:

1.     Fear the Lord

2.     Walk in all His ways

3.     Love the Lord

4.     Serve Him with your all

5.     Keep His commandments

As we follow His Words, we can rest in the knowledge that He will reward in His best time (Deut. 11:33-34). As we cleave to Him (v. 20), He becomes most importantly our true praise and moves into the correct position in our lives: GOD (v. 21). He becomes the rightful Author of every good thing (James 1:17) and the Mighty Deliverer from the evil He allows (Matthew 4:1, 11; Deut. 7:18, 21; 20:1-4). He is our consuming fire of righteousness (Deut. 4:24; Matthew 3:11) –fire by night and cloud by day. He allures us by His goodness and justice: we all crave both deep down in our hearts. The more we dive into His Word, the more we love and delight in it (Psalm 119:16). I can definitely testify to this! Ever since I started this amazing journey of reading the Bible from cover to cover, I have seen the Word come alive around me; I have become more aware of His work; and I have become more enraptured by His nature.

Don’t get me wrong: this transformation and renewal does not happen overnight and does not become fulfilled until we meet Him face to face (Phil. 3:12). But because of the precious and selfless sacrifice of Christ’s life and my choice to claim Him as my Savior, I can walk on this journey of boundless discovery of His character, His ways, and His plan –with delight in every step when I keep my gaze on His (Phil. 3:13-14). “You shall rejoice in all that you put your hand to…wherever the Lord your God has blessed you” (Deut. 12:7). I will rejoice. I will delight.

In closing, I would like to include a passage from Kisses from Katie, a book I am currently reading about a young missionary in Uganda:

“For as long as I can remember, one of my favorite Bible verses has been Psalm 37:4: ‘Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.’ I used to believe it meant that if I did what the Lord asked of me, followed His commandments, and was a ‘good girl,’ He would grant all my desires and make my dreams come true. Today, this is still one of my favorite passages of Scripture, but I have learned to interpret it in a totally different way. It is not about God making my dreams come true but about God changing my dreams into His dreams for my life.

Today I am living the desires of my heart and I cannot imagine being happier; I cannot imagine living any other life than the one that unfolds before me day by day. But believe me, I am by no means living my plan… This is not a life that I dreamed up on my own or even knew I desired. I am watching God work, and as I ‘delight myself in the Lord’ by doing what He asks of me and by saying yes to the needs He places in front of me, He is changing the desires of my heart and aligning them with the desires of His. As I go with Him to the hard places, He changes them into the most joyful places I could imagine.”

As you come to delight more and more in the Lord and His Word, He may or may not ask you to completely change your lifestyle or pursuits as He did for Katie. Each one of us has a different, specific calling. But the main goal that is the same for all of us to "love the Lord thy God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27). 

The Veil Has Torn

The writings of Exodus can appear long-winded, repetitive, and even useless at times. Oh the many times I have complained about its content! But when in my head and heart God connects dots from this more challenging piece of Scripture with the often Christian favorite of the New Testament, I am left humbled and can only rejoice with the delight He brings.

This morning I was thinking about all the things on my to-do list –the things I want to do and those I don’t; the things I take pleasure in and those I despise; the things that are easy and those that require effort. Lying in bed hearing the birds already worshiping, I knew what my soul needed but I wanted to indulge my head and attempt to accomplish everything in my own might. I wrestled, hid under the quilts –but already the sun revealed His glory through my half-drawn blinds, luring me to His feet. Finally, I rolled over, pushing away my human feelings. Sitting by the window and sipping coffee, I started writing down my worry and wanna-be achievement list while meditating on Philippians 4:6-7: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” As my pen traced on the journal page each of my thoughts, God supplied His peaceful answer.

So I rejoiced along with the birds.

As I continued my reading of Exodus, I was captivated by the glorious description of God’s commandments concerning the tabernacle as well as the clothes worn by the priests.  One verse, though, that bounced off the page as if already highlighted without my pen was Exodus 26:33-34: “and the veil will divide unto you between the holy place and the most holy. And you will put the mercy seat upon the ark of the testimony in the most holy place.” The people of Israel were not to enter this most holy section where God’s Spirit was; they could not approach God on their own because of their imperfections compared to His holiness. A veil separated them.

One day everything changed, though: “And, behold, the veil of the temple was torn in half from the top to the bottom; and the earth did shake, and the rocks were split” (Matthew 27:51). THE VEIL WAS TORN. Why? What had just happened? Jesus, the Son of God, had just died, crucified on the cross and taking every single sin upon Him. He acted as the perfect sacrifice acceptable to God, making it possible for those who believe in Him to approach God anytime anywhere about anything. JESUS made it possible for me to approach God’s mercy seat this morning, leave everything at His throne of grace, and rejoice. “[The] veil is done away in Christ…when [we] turn to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord” (II Corinthians 3:14-18).

The veil has been torn. What are we waiting for? Let’s gather at His mercy seat and REJOICE. 

In or Of: Whom Do You Fear?

When what I am reading in a class coincides powerfully with a theme in my current Scripture studying while challenging me in my daily life, it becomes all the much more powerful and personal, as if God’s Spirit were drawing lines in my dot-to-dot designs in my head of what my walk with Him should look like. A couple weeks ago I started reading Genesis, a little nervous of this Bible adventure. I am not positive I have ever finished that book or read it in its entirety at once. But, reading it became a dare I could not resist.

I have now reached chapter 33 and have noticed a reoccurring theme. Frequently, the narration includes God providing man with a promise, as if giving him an inside view of His plan and that man’s role in it. The man accepts and embraces it, clinging to it with all his might and emboldened for his journey. However, soon come various challenges against this promise, forcing the man to make a bold decision in either a negative or a positive way. The negative would have been the easiest; but the positive would prove to be the best in the long run.

In his humanity, Abraham chose both negative and positive alleys. Out of fear for his life, Abraham introduces his wife as his sister to foreigners, not once but twice, and almost loses her to them. God intervenes, though, and spares them both. On the other hand, in the well-known incident of God requiring Abraham’s sacrifice of his long-awaited son Isaac, Abraham’s faith is undeniable; God must intervene again, but, this time, because Abraham had thrown everything –including God’s promise of many generations to come- at God’s feet in submissive, reckless obedience to Him.

Lot undergoes similar choices as well. While living in a sinful city along with his family, he is offered a way out before God brings destruction to Sodom and Gomorrah. Even with the knowledge of the looming annihilation of his city, Lot does not care to hurry his family out. Rather, Scripture states that Lot took his time and God had to intervene again: the angels had to pull him and his family out of the city. Lot was so concerned about the seen and the things of this world (the city, perhaps his belongings, his lifestyle) that he and his family came very close to dying. Lot was so focused on this world that God was not GOD in his life. After that escape, God urges Lot to flee to the mountains for refuge. Yet, Lot responds with fear and prefers to stay in the city of Zoar, in his opinion safer than the wilderness. It is incredible and challenging to see just how much FEAR (fear of everything except fear of God) kept Lot from probably following God’s best for him and even for his daughters too who felt forced to take matters in their own hands in order to preserve their family tree.

Again, this time in the life of Jacob, we see fear of man and his temporary threats colliding with faith in God and His promised plan. Countless times, Jacob moves in FEAR of this world and relies on deception to try to mold his life into what he knows is God’s plan for him. Jacob even physically wrestles with God or an angelic being, as if God were stating, “Stop living and acting in fear, Jacob. Don’t you believe in my promises, in my presence, in my plan? Will you fear me or continue to fear men?”

Today, God is asking me the same question –and He is asking YOU that too. It is not my job to tell you what about specifically; only you in your heart can know that for sure as you follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. But I know I would rather God intervene in my life because I have trusted His plan in fear of Him than because He is working against what I have planted in fear of this world.

There are so many things we can focus on in this world instead of GOD, our relationship with Him, and His plan for this world! SO MANY: possessions, relationships, success, dreams, insecurities, safety, reason, fear, destruction, etc. -the list goes on. It’s good to think about those things –we are “in” the world after all. BUT we cannot be consumed by them. We are NOT “of” this world. The only thing we should truly be consumed by is the world we actually belong in…the eternal, the unseen, the relationship we have with Christ. Once we realize and embrace this, we become truly free to fulfill our part in His grand plan. We become truly only “in” this world and not “of” it. Fears of worldly concerns vanish; godly confidence steps in. People’s words still hurt our human heart but cannot touch our invincible soul. Darts and stones may end our breath here on earth, but this ending is only waking up at Jesus’ feet before the throne of God. Yes, “in” this world…but oh not of it!! So I must focus on my GOD, my relationship with Him, His promises, His plan, and my part in it…then will my eyes be opened to His beautiful, powerful, eternal, unseen…

Nancy Pearcey explains this concept in her book Total Truth with the following: “for the believer…the natural world is only part of reality. A complete perspective includes both the seen and the unseen aspects of reality…Day by day [Christians] are to make choices that would make no sense unless the unseen world is just as real as the seen world” (p. 361-362).

UNLESS THE UNSEEN WORLD IS JUST AS REAL AS THE SEEN WORLD.

As if those words were not powerful enough, Pearcey then challenges her readers: “The only way the church can establish genuine credibility with non-believers is by showing them something they cannot explain or duplicate through their own natural, pragmatic methods –something they can explain only by invoking the supernatural” (p. 363).

SOMETHING THEY CANNOT EXPLAIN OR DUPLICATE THROUGH THEIR OWN METHODS.

God’s plan doesn’t always make sense in our boxed-in human minds. God’s ways are not our ways but higher. God’s timing is perfect and beautiful. God carries out ALL of His promises. We are to live for eternity. We like to quote these truths to our Sunday School classes, print them on magnets for our refrigerators, and highlight them as comforting pieces in our Bible. 

But do we truly live them?

There Is Glory in Weakness.

We are taught to be strong. We are told to be held together, to hold our heads high, to be brave, to be bold, to let none see our weaknesses –the list goes on. When you show your power, others will not sense your vulnerabilities, will fear messing with you, will leave you alone, and won’t try to tear down your walls. You won’t be challenged. You will be in control. You will be safe.

Well, let me challenge you as I was…

I just read through I and II Samuel and watched unfold before my eyes the life of David. I almost cried when this man so faithful to his God in the middle of a crowd fell in a secret, deep sin. Yet my heart rejoiced when he found forgiveness and mercy in a God who still cared to have him remembered as the one after His heart. Known so well for his triumphant defeat against Goliath, David should stand out to us not only for a blatant victory against evil but also for his silent trust in a Sovereign God.

Though beyond a shadow of a doubt called by God to be the next king of Israel, David found himself RUNNING from his predecessor who had come to hate him for the very reason he had first asked for him: dedicated service and a heart for God. For years, David hid in the mountains, the wilderness, and even his enemies. Twice he had the opportunity to kill the very man who was keeping him from God’s call on his life –his friends, even, encouraged him to slay Saul. It would have been so easy. It would have been so fast. Then, by the swing of a sword, Saul would have finally been defeated and David could embrace his already guaranteed kingship –his calling. He had been anointed by Samuel after all. Both times, though, David refused to harm Saul. Was David weak? Was David a coward?

He realized he was but a mere man that a Sovereign God wanted to use. That same Sovereign God who had called him to kingship would take care of ALL of His adversaries in His time. David had no right to decide when that timing was. Perhaps this does make David weak, in the world’s standards.

But there was glory in this weakness.

David recognized that all along, all his life, even when he was a young shepherd boy, God honored his humble heart that pursued and craved Him.  Later in his life, when David had to face his sin and its consequences, it was “weakness” that brought him back to the heart of God. Again during his kingship, David was faced with foolish adversaries who mocked him; David’s men encouraged him to destroy these enemies. David could have easily put anyone to death in his kingdom –he was king! Yet he insisted that God would settle the matter in His own time, in His own manner. He knew He could trust God to fulfill His promise. He chose to do nothing and maybe even be viewed as a weak king so that he could leave room for God to work. There IS glory in weakness.

I started reading I Peter a couple days ago, and this morning, a similar theme seemed to shine from the pages: I Peter 2 points out Christ’s behavior when He was falsely accused and in the midst of unfair suffering: He completely left it in the hands of the Sovereign God. He knew what He was called to do –and He knew He could trust the Father to fulfill His side of the promise too.

We are called to a similar walk in life. What can this world really do to us?

No matter how weak we are, we feel, or we realize we SHOULD be…there is beauty and there is glory in that weakness. It is this weakness that draws us to our knees, that motivates our hearts to thirst for His face and His truth, that moves us to compassion to a starving world, and that secures our hope and true confidence in OUR Sovereign God.

“You come to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied…the battle is the Lord’s, and He will give you into our hands” (I Samuel 45, 47).

This was David’s cry throughout his entire life –against the bears and lions that sought to steal his sheep; against Saul who coveted the blessing of God on David’s life; and against all other enemies that mocked David’s leadership and delight in God. Will it be yours? Dear readers, I do not know what you’re going through. I probably will never hear from you nor hear your story. But I wager to say that you have weaknesses –everyone does! It’s really not a matter of having them but of what you will do with them.

Will you be ashamed of your weaknesses? Will you stuff them in a closet, hoping that the doors will not accidentally open when you have company over? Do you have power but long to restrain it but are afraid to? Will you accept and embrace your weaknesses, leaving them at His feet? Will you commit yourself to the One who judges righteously (I Peter 2:23)? Will you trust Him?

There is GLORY in these weaknesses, no matter what these are. 

Our Hearts

Why does God allow suffering to His faithful?
Why are dreams so long to become fulfilled and sometimes never come to pass?
Why does He seem so silent at times while the world is quick to speak its opinions?

I read Job in a week. I’m not sure if a book in the Bible has ever captivated me so fully and so wholeheartedly. Portrayed as a man faithful to his God, Job enters an incredible sequence of events that completely shake his entire life: in a matter of minutes and as a result of spiritual warfare, everything (except his negative wife!) was stripped away from him. We don’t know how long his agony lasted, but part of his suffering included a constant outpour of various words and opinions from his “friends.” Every single one of them had an opinion; and while each opinion held truths within it, it did not address Job’s real issue. Then God stepped in. He did not answer Job’s questions; rather, He pointed out His sovereignty. Job was absolutely humbled; how foolish he had been to try to explain the meaning of what was happening to him. While God blessed Job in unmeasurable material and familial ways in the long run, Job received the most important gift right after God’s words humbled him: a true heart for God –not a heart after sacrifices and ordinances, but a heart after the Almighty.

Yesterday, I began reading I Samuel. I jumped into a storyline early on that I had expected; but I also discovered a similar theme to Job that I had not foreseen. I Samuel begins with an insight in the life of a woman, Hannah, desperate for her own child. She and her family are seen as faithful to God through their regular prayers and sacrifices, similarly to Job’s situation prior to his moment of desperation. Hannah, too, is persecuted, though mainly emotionally. Her dream for a child was honorable –yet God did not seem to be fulfilling her vision. Eventually, He did provide her with a son, Samuel, who would do wonders through God for Israel. Why did God make Hannah wait? What did God want of her?

He wanted her heart…just like He wanted Job’s…and He wants ours.

There is no telling how Hannah would have been toward God and the future of her son had she not had to wait, had she not had to endure the pain from the words of her husband’s second wife. There’s no telling how Job would have continued viewing God had he not been tried. Would both Hannah and Job have continued in simply following the rules and offering sacrifices rather than truly pursuing the heart of God?

The desires God places in our hearts are for a very, very, VERY specific reason; but if we try to meet them on our own timetable or if we pursue them more than the One who gave them to us, we risk missing quite a bit of beautiful growth in the Lord –we risk missing what He wants most for us: a heart after Him and His purposes. Jesus boasted of Mary’s best decision: to choose the “good portion” of life (Luke 10:41-42), pursuing the heart of God. Similarly, God looked past David’s human mistakes and still had him remembered for his most important trait: a heart after God’s (Acts 13:22).

So to those of you waiting for your dream to come, to those of you praying for healing, to those of you who are confused about your next step, remember that if your heart is after God’s, you already have everything. Let your heart pursue Him, confessing His sovereignty. He CAN be trusted. “He suffered you to hunger…that He might make you know that man does not live by bread alone…” (Deut. 8:3) –He wants us to have the most important part of life: satisfaction in Him, in pursuing Him, in knowing Him. Forget the calling, forget the mission; yes, those are important. But what He wants most is our heart. As so beautifully said by Amy Carmichael, “It is a safe thing to trust Him to fulfill the desires He creates.”