Just a Typical Girl

This morning, I finished a little study on ten different women mentioned in the Bible. None of these ten had what we would consider “perfect lives.” They were all going through a typical woman’s life: child-bearing problems and fears; war; emotional abuse or suffering; widowhood and the care of bitter elderly; death of a loved one; national crisis; family threat; tough choices; tests of faith and lessons of letting go; consequences from sin or poor choices. Their imperfections and weaknesses, along with the world’s sinful impact on them, brought them to places of lowness and fear, senses of failure and abandonment, and temptations to despair and to bid farewell to dreams or their promises from God.

My dear reader, do you recognize yourself yet?

These events all sound like typical things we women still go through today. These Bible characters were clearly all typical women. They were like you and me.

Yet what made them different was their faith –faith that the Lord is Sovereign God, faith that Jesus and His plan are enough, and faith that He is faithful, Keeper of His promises. What made them different was what they believed and their resulting choices. What made them worthy was their intentional decision to believe; and what gave them their lasting legacy was taking a stand for what they believed. This is the Gospel. Nothing worthy or outstanding comes from ourselves, but everything falls together beautifully in the name of Jesus when we respond to the desire He puts in us to crave and follow Him.

Because He loved us first. 

Sarah. Deborah. Hannah. Ruth. Mary. Esther. Miriam. Rahab. Jochebed. The woman at the well. They were all typical, dream-filled girls who turned into typical women struggling and fighting for those dreams. But these typical girls discovered a radical truth and experienced the God Who held everything they could truly delight in forever: His Word, His plan, and even His nature. Simply, they could delight in Him.

So, ladies, I don’t have to tell you twice that we are not worthy and that our sandcastles are quickly washed away by the clock. You already know that. Sin and the effects of time are no strangers to you; we have all quickly become acquainted to them. 

But the hope that comes from Christmas can last the entire year once you realize that God turns typical girls into worthy dream fulfillers and conquerors of His plan upon realization that He is the true delight of our hungry hearts.

The Story of Us

Ever since I can remember, I have been fascinated by Esther, the secret Jew turned queen of the Babylonian Empire. Perhaps it was her courage that inspired me, or her commitment to pursuing justice even in the face of great danger –or simply the fact that she was a strong woman in a dark world full of hurt, suffering, and persecution. Recently, I re-read the book of Esther again and was challenged by the deep themes exposed through its plot and the insightful details about the lives, thoughts, and hearts of the different characters of the story.

The recorded events reminded me of today’s world; its characters reflected various people around me; and its concepts challenged my very core. The story of Esther reminded me of me.

The book of Esther is unique because it never mentions the name of God and fails to reveal much, if any, commitment to God by His people, even by the main characters of the story. Rather, we are given insight on very human individuals –people just like you and me. Xerxes is a self-absorbed king, full of passion for his wealth and title; yet he falls in love with a beautiful queen and is willing to give half of his cherished kingdom to her. Haman so loves himself that he is willing to sacrifice honor by plotting to murder his small opposition. We do not know much about Mordecai, but we cannot help but wonder if his request for Esther to hide her Jewish identity was in wise discernment or in fear of men rather than God. Finally, we look at Esther and can call her full of faith or simply committed to her duty to humanity. There are so many ways to look at each of our characters in Esther; and we could argue about their faults and try to place their positive traits on a pedestal. But what we should observe is that they are simply you and me.

What stands out so powerfully in the story of Esther is that coincidences and life choices blend so quickly, forming simply life as we know it too. God’s hand is hidden –yet is still so visibly in control and at work through these seemingly uncontrollable events or attempts at riveting personal actions. Proverbs 21:1 explains that “the king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He will.” Similarly, Proverbs 19:21 stresses God’s sovereignty as well: “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” It can be difficult to see the hand of God in the life of Esther and those around her, especially when it appears that her entire people group would die. However, God’s promise of the survival of His Jewish people stood even through these challenging times. His plan remained. His ways still triumphed, even if they were hard to see. “God’s methods may vary, but His purposes do not. His workings may be obscured to skeptics by the disguise of coincidence, but the people of God recognize His sovereign hand in the ebb and flow of history. His name is not mentioned, but His influence is unmistakable” (Hill & Walton, p. 351).

Similarly, our lives resemble as those described in the book of Esther. Perhaps we do not face the possible destruction and extinction of our people –but surely we face death, pain, and suffering. Perhaps we do not feel we must deny our family background to be accepted –yet there has at least been one day where your past shamed you or you felt you had to hide what you truly thought. How many of us have denied what we believe? How many of us have hidden behind a title, a degree, a social status, or a position of authority to withhold vulnerability?  

The story of Esther is the story of us. “The thing that makes [Esther] so fascinating is that this is our story…this is a marvelous parallel to what is going on in our own lives” (Stedman, n.p.). None of the characters in Esther were perfect people. Rather, they were all openly flawed, pursuing what they each saw as their highest possession. Yet, the book of Esther also reveals that “God often works quietly behind the scenes to implement His plan. God rescues the Israelites, not because of Esther’s piety, but because saving them is part of His character and His plan, even though at the moment the Jews in Persia are not living obediently. God often works in our lives even when we do not deserve it. God is faithful to His promises and to His plan in spite of us” (Hays & Duvall, p. 249).

The same goes for us and for our story. The hand of God is often hidden, especially if we are not asking Him to reveal it to us. But He is still at work. He is sovereign, even through death, sickness, our doubts, our mistakes, and our shortcomings. “God can accomplish His purposes just as easily through ‘coincidences’ as He can through grand miracles of deliverance. Though He works behind the curtain, He is just as much in control. Events that others see as chance or fate, can be seen by believers as signs of God’s sovereignty” (Hill & Walton, p. 347).

A couple days ago I promised to answer the question of WHO is in control.
Perhaps, I have now. 

The Falsehood of Control

It’s fun to control –or, at least, it can be satisfying to THINK we control. At times, we may find comfort in this assumption or may seek our purpose in it. Only temporary peace resides, though, with this quickly fleeting role.

Recently, a young woman chose to take her life to avoid the suffering that was accompanying her slow surrender to a brain tumor. Often coined by the media a heroic act to die with dignity, her death caused uproar in a United States battling a cultural and moral war for years now. Did Brittany Maynard not have the right to die and hold the choice for her timing of death in her hands? This question ran its course, from churches to bars and from social media to philosophical debacles.

What the debate seemed to forget was that Brittany Maynard’s act is not so foreign from any of our daily actions, words, and thoughts. Every day, we try to begin or end things for which we do not really own the authority to command in the first place. Even in our places of rightful leadership, we tend to forget our positions are only temporary and allowed by the Sovereign God of the universe to use for HIS glory and purposes. How often do we abuse what He has entrusted us with? 

We can criticize Brittany Maynard all day long for her very human choice, but if we were to look more closely and with more humility, whom would we really see in her decision? Ourselves –yes, simply, purely ourselves.

Who, then, is really in control?

I will let you ponder the answer until my next post…

You Can Have All This World

In the past couple months or so, God has completely transformed my perspective on my life. Or, rather, He has been working on this for a while –I just have now come to realize it.

Life –what is life?

Knowing the answer to that question is essential to our successful development and pursuits; but how quickly do we attempt to summarize it or produce our own version of repeated fluff?

For some, life is an adventure or a journey. Thousands through the ages find its answers in parties or work or esteem. Others found purpose in family or singleness. All have attempted to define it somehow.

Life is but a vapor, the Bible states (James 4:14), and all of us would be quick to agree. A timeless country song even challenges its listeners through its analogy “Don’t Blink” –because life slips through our hands. One heartbeat, one breath –one blink- can change everything you ever knew in an instant. Though we make plans and should be prepared for the future, we are not promised tomorrow (Proverbs 27:1). All of us have seen life flash by our eyes, with friends and loved ones stolen from us too quickly by death’s snatch.

Here I am almost finished with my graduate degree, and I have no idea what is coming next. The entire world is before me –while at the same time, maybe just a lonely mountain with a forgotten people could be my next abode. I have had so many questions, yet God has only repeated His century-old truth: “to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Phil. 1:21). Life is not about my will above all but rather about the triumph of His work: to know Him more and more day by day and to make Him known.

So now I must live with His entrusted truth: I must live TODAY fully with eternity in mind. I must live, laugh, love –TODAY. Today is all I have at this moment, and I must choose wisely how I will spend it in order to reflect my utmost purpose: to know Him and make Him known –TODAY. Coincidences become opportunities to grow in Him or to share His glory; life is no longer a solo adventure but a committed journey besides the Savior of my heart, mind, and soul. 

The Shadow of Death

“We as Americans are so blessed and do not have to fear death as much as so many children do around the world,” I commented to the small group of young girls gathered around me at the fire pit. “But a lot of times it feels like we are dying inside –and that can be just as scary.” Several of the girls nodded their heads at me. I could see their thoughts racing, remembering challenging situations their young years had already seen.

It’s true. Dying inside is scary.

It’s as if we were walking, alone and aimless, through a forest of deep, swallowing green, with no clear path but briars and thorns instead catching at our bare arms. It feels like darts are being thrown at our heart, at our very being, or at what we love most –but no one else can really see them.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.

This often quoted Psalm used to always make me think of desperate physical situations: soldiers surrounded by the enemy, struggling just to stay alive and committed to their country; a child fighting for his life after being hit by a car; or an elderly person slipping away from this world into eternity. But now I know. Death is not always what is seen or broadcasted on the news. Being challenged by the people we love, making life-impacting decisions, and choosing the narrow path of Christ –all these can make us feel like we are dying inside.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for You are with me.

Contrary to an often believed myth of our comfort-loving culture, Christ never promised us an easy road. In fact, usually when an individual approached Him about the possibility of following Him, Jesus challenged this person immediately: it would be hard and possibly life-threatening.  His followers are to love nothing above Christ; their commitment to Christ must come first –and this requirement could mean much, much sacrifice. Possessions, comfort, family, desires, dreams, always being right, always getting the last word, and life itself -these no longer had first priority. In Standing Firm, Donna Partow states to her readers, “We want to live in a world where one plus one always equals two; a place where IF you do this, THEN you get that. Sadly, that’s not the real world.” And, though, we are no longer of this world, we are definitely still in its dark, sinful, hurtful environment. In fact, Christ followers ATTRACT the darts of evil (John 15:19).

YET, even in the valley of the shadow of death, He is there. “Even there will Your hand lead me, and Your right hand will hold me” (Psalm 139:10). When we think God is not at work, HE IS –it’s simply that His thoughts are not ours but higher and better (Isaiah 55:8-9). Somehow, He is speaking as much as ever, just not in the words, language, or volume we may think or prefer. A stranger’s prayer, a startling message, a quiet sense of peace by the pond in the evening, a surprise in the mail–He is at work. 

The Veil Has Torn

The writings of Exodus can appear long-winded, repetitive, and even useless at times. Oh the many times I have complained about its content! But when in my head and heart God connects dots from this more challenging piece of Scripture with the often Christian favorite of the New Testament, I am left humbled and can only rejoice with the delight He brings.

This morning I was thinking about all the things on my to-do list –the things I want to do and those I don’t; the things I take pleasure in and those I despise; the things that are easy and those that require effort. Lying in bed hearing the birds already worshiping, I knew what my soul needed but I wanted to indulge my head and attempt to accomplish everything in my own might. I wrestled, hid under the quilts –but already the sun revealed His glory through my half-drawn blinds, luring me to His feet. Finally, I rolled over, pushing away my human feelings. Sitting by the window and sipping coffee, I started writing down my worry and wanna-be achievement list while meditating on Philippians 4:6-7: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” As my pen traced on the journal page each of my thoughts, God supplied His peaceful answer.

So I rejoiced along with the birds.

As I continued my reading of Exodus, I was captivated by the glorious description of God’s commandments concerning the tabernacle as well as the clothes worn by the priests.  One verse, though, that bounced off the page as if already highlighted without my pen was Exodus 26:33-34: “and the veil will divide unto you between the holy place and the most holy. And you will put the mercy seat upon the ark of the testimony in the most holy place.” The people of Israel were not to enter this most holy section where God’s Spirit was; they could not approach God on their own because of their imperfections compared to His holiness. A veil separated them.

One day everything changed, though: “And, behold, the veil of the temple was torn in half from the top to the bottom; and the earth did shake, and the rocks were split” (Matthew 27:51). THE VEIL WAS TORN. Why? What had just happened? Jesus, the Son of God, had just died, crucified on the cross and taking every single sin upon Him. He acted as the perfect sacrifice acceptable to God, making it possible for those who believe in Him to approach God anytime anywhere about anything. JESUS made it possible for me to approach God’s mercy seat this morning, leave everything at His throne of grace, and rejoice. “[The] veil is done away in Christ…when [we] turn to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord” (II Corinthians 3:14-18).

The veil has been torn. What are we waiting for? Let’s gather at His mercy seat and REJOICE. 

In or Of: Whom Do You Fear?

When what I am reading in a class coincides powerfully with a theme in my current Scripture studying while challenging me in my daily life, it becomes all the much more powerful and personal, as if God’s Spirit were drawing lines in my dot-to-dot designs in my head of what my walk with Him should look like. A couple weeks ago I started reading Genesis, a little nervous of this Bible adventure. I am not positive I have ever finished that book or read it in its entirety at once. But, reading it became a dare I could not resist.

I have now reached chapter 33 and have noticed a reoccurring theme. Frequently, the narration includes God providing man with a promise, as if giving him an inside view of His plan and that man’s role in it. The man accepts and embraces it, clinging to it with all his might and emboldened for his journey. However, soon come various challenges against this promise, forcing the man to make a bold decision in either a negative or a positive way. The negative would have been the easiest; but the positive would prove to be the best in the long run.

In his humanity, Abraham chose both negative and positive alleys. Out of fear for his life, Abraham introduces his wife as his sister to foreigners, not once but twice, and almost loses her to them. God intervenes, though, and spares them both. On the other hand, in the well-known incident of God requiring Abraham’s sacrifice of his long-awaited son Isaac, Abraham’s faith is undeniable; God must intervene again, but, this time, because Abraham had thrown everything –including God’s promise of many generations to come- at God’s feet in submissive, reckless obedience to Him.

Lot undergoes similar choices as well. While living in a sinful city along with his family, he is offered a way out before God brings destruction to Sodom and Gomorrah. Even with the knowledge of the looming annihilation of his city, Lot does not care to hurry his family out. Rather, Scripture states that Lot took his time and God had to intervene again: the angels had to pull him and his family out of the city. Lot was so concerned about the seen and the things of this world (the city, perhaps his belongings, his lifestyle) that he and his family came very close to dying. Lot was so focused on this world that God was not GOD in his life. After that escape, God urges Lot to flee to the mountains for refuge. Yet, Lot responds with fear and prefers to stay in the city of Zoar, in his opinion safer than the wilderness. It is incredible and challenging to see just how much FEAR (fear of everything except fear of God) kept Lot from probably following God’s best for him and even for his daughters too who felt forced to take matters in their own hands in order to preserve their family tree.

Again, this time in the life of Jacob, we see fear of man and his temporary threats colliding with faith in God and His promised plan. Countless times, Jacob moves in FEAR of this world and relies on deception to try to mold his life into what he knows is God’s plan for him. Jacob even physically wrestles with God or an angelic being, as if God were stating, “Stop living and acting in fear, Jacob. Don’t you believe in my promises, in my presence, in my plan? Will you fear me or continue to fear men?”

Today, God is asking me the same question –and He is asking YOU that too. It is not my job to tell you what about specifically; only you in your heart can know that for sure as you follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. But I know I would rather God intervene in my life because I have trusted His plan in fear of Him than because He is working against what I have planted in fear of this world.

There are so many things we can focus on in this world instead of GOD, our relationship with Him, and His plan for this world! SO MANY: possessions, relationships, success, dreams, insecurities, safety, reason, fear, destruction, etc. -the list goes on. It’s good to think about those things –we are “in” the world after all. BUT we cannot be consumed by them. We are NOT “of” this world. The only thing we should truly be consumed by is the world we actually belong in…the eternal, the unseen, the relationship we have with Christ. Once we realize and embrace this, we become truly free to fulfill our part in His grand plan. We become truly only “in” this world and not “of” it. Fears of worldly concerns vanish; godly confidence steps in. People’s words still hurt our human heart but cannot touch our invincible soul. Darts and stones may end our breath here on earth, but this ending is only waking up at Jesus’ feet before the throne of God. Yes, “in” this world…but oh not of it!! So I must focus on my GOD, my relationship with Him, His promises, His plan, and my part in it…then will my eyes be opened to His beautiful, powerful, eternal, unseen…

Nancy Pearcey explains this concept in her book Total Truth with the following: “for the believer…the natural world is only part of reality. A complete perspective includes both the seen and the unseen aspects of reality…Day by day [Christians] are to make choices that would make no sense unless the unseen world is just as real as the seen world” (p. 361-362).

UNLESS THE UNSEEN WORLD IS JUST AS REAL AS THE SEEN WORLD.

As if those words were not powerful enough, Pearcey then challenges her readers: “The only way the church can establish genuine credibility with non-believers is by showing them something they cannot explain or duplicate through their own natural, pragmatic methods –something they can explain only by invoking the supernatural” (p. 363).

SOMETHING THEY CANNOT EXPLAIN OR DUPLICATE THROUGH THEIR OWN METHODS.

God’s plan doesn’t always make sense in our boxed-in human minds. God’s ways are not our ways but higher. God’s timing is perfect and beautiful. God carries out ALL of His promises. We are to live for eternity. We like to quote these truths to our Sunday School classes, print them on magnets for our refrigerators, and highlight them as comforting pieces in our Bible. 

But do we truly live them?