What I Found Was Freedom

We humans like to fit sin into a box –a box that makes sense to us, a box that fits our agendas, our feelings, or our own sense of right and wrong. It’s hard for us to comprehend what exactly God’s holiness entails and how it should impact our view of ourselves…and of sin and salvation.

Recently, I began attending a women’s Bible study group with the sole purpose of diving more into the Word of God, challenging my “Bible knowledge,” and developing relationships with more mature women. Little did I know that my menial motivations would be surpassed by the Lord’s grand desire to transform me and provide for me exactly the truth I needed for this time in my life.  While His way in this is nothing out of the ordinary for Him and is only a small sample of His plan and work, I stand amazed that it offers a picture of how He teaches and prepares us for just what we need in His most perfect, beautiful timing.

The focus of our Bible study this semester was the book of Galatians. Before we began, I knew it was one of Paul’s letters and I could reference a few notes I had previously made in the margins of my Bible there. But the depth of its truths and its meaningful applications to my life boggled my mind –and I know we have yet only scratched the surface.

I am sure we each discovered direct significance very specific to our lives.
What I found was freedom.

Overall a people-pleaser and rule-follower while growing up, I have many times made decisions on what people in my life would think of me. My view of myself and even of others was determined by what I or others determined acceptable. Of course, we are to embrace and consider wisdom and advice that is shared with us, though often too freely. But our utmost desire should be to seek the wisdom of the Lord, yearn for a closer walk with Him, and make Him known to others more and more, finding peace, confidence, and security in the knowledge that He has already made us approved and worthy before God in Jesus’ name. Nothing else should matter. Anything else is only temporary with no lasting significance. Anything else only belongs to this world. Anything else leads to slavery and a continual cycle of sin.

As a believer in Jesus Christ, I am not called to any form of bondage. Galatians makes this concept very clear and defined. “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery” (Gal. 5:1). I think most of us would agree that sin places us into slavery and that once saved, we should run from the things that enslave us. Why would we mock Christ and His sacrifice on the cross by only returning to bonds? But what I had to realize is that there are many forms of possible slavery for the Christian. In my achievement-driven mind, the only form of slavery a Christian could be vulnerable to fall to is what I considered the “real sins,” like some of those mentioned in Galatians 5:19-21: sexual immorality, sorcery, jealousy, to name a few. These were obvious. These were at times pointed out by society and definitely always by churches.

But I was in bondage to another slavery Paul also mentions in Galatians 5. In fact, it is the first that he mentions in this chapter: having a spirit of legalism. The entire book of Galatians revolves around this specific church’s struggle with the false teachers who were pushing for the following of certain rules in order to prove, justify, or gratify salvation. One’s identity was in standards, laws, and fitting in with a certain status quo determined by tradition. The Galatians’ specific struggle was with circumcision. Of course, in our culture, this topic is no longer an issue! However, there are many others today, and I am sure you have already begun to fill in the blank very quickly. These are the ones that divide us, that sever our churches, that tear apart families, that push away unbelievers, and most importantly that rob us from the true Gospel and a flourishing relationship with Christ.

What I have begun to learn is that it is just as sinful to adopt any form of legalism as it is to remain in those sins we typically think of. The spirit of legalism is not just choosing to adopt rules because one believes it will make them a better Christian, though we are so guilty of this; it also involves imposing personal standards on other people, judging them if they do not, afraid to analyze the issue Biblically and in prayer. The spirit of legalism enslaves because it imposes unimportant limitations in decision-making and in the leading of the Holy Spirit, and blinds us to recognizing some gray areas. “For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, but only faith working through love” (Gal. 5:6).

Am I telling you to rid your life of all convictions and standards? No! Of course not! “Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh” (Gal. 5:13). We are to run from sin! I have come to believe, however, that we should be careful on how we set our standards: rather than through fear of popular word or sets of tradition, we should carefully determine them by the leading of the Spirit and the reading of His unfailing Word: “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” (Gal. 5:16). Through His earthly ministry, Jesus respected tradition but did not live limited by it. The same went for those who followed Him. In fact, there are countless examples throughout the Gospels! When we set our standards, we should seek our hearts for our motives: are we simply following tradition or hoping to make ourselves feel or look better or accepted...or out of Spirit-filled love?

We have already been accepted by GOD if we have believed in Jesus Christ and begun a relationship with Him. When God looks at us, He sees Christ –no blame, shame, or any tint of sin: just holiness. Once we are saved, we should desire more and more to experience the transformation of the Holy Spirit; but there is absolutely nothing we can do to make God love or accept us more or less. It is done. It is finished. The struggle is gone. And so should our slavery, in whatever shape or form it can still entrap us while still in this world. “But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more?” (Gal. 4:9)

So be free. Allow yourself to be free. Jesus has already made you so. 

Rock of My Gypsy Soul

As I near the peak of a mountain again, I can only reflect once more on the faithfulness of the Lord. All the way He has led me, proving me even more strongly that when He calls He provides, He transforms, and He never leaves. He reinforces my stronghold, making my feet like hinds’ feet, and directing my heart. He has shown me again that He is the Solid Rock to this gypsy soul of mine. He woos my restless spirit and secures my wild heart. Some of you may know about the drastic educational path change I took about two years ago now. While it sounded so foreign from the way I started, I can state with confidence that no, He hasn’t really changed my calling, nor has He kept me from being who I really am. Rather, he has freed my true identity, entrusting me only more firmly with my calling.

When I first started this graduate degree, I worried because I didn’t really want to do it, and its assumed target career was not necessarily the path I would have gladly chosen. I didn’t know why God was calling me to this endeavor. I only pursued it because I knew firmly that was the next step God wanted me to take –I also knew that if just a closer walk with Him was my reward from the many hours of study and sacrifice, I would have reaped the full benefits of obedience. Just knowing Him more would make this part of the journey worth it –because that’s what life is really about.

Oh, dear reader, I still do not fully know the plan, the next step, or my life course…and I am about to graduate in a month! But I know now that knowing everything is not the goal of life. Daily dedicating to knowing God and making Him known to others more and more is. I also now rest secure that God IS in charge of every piece of my life puzzle, planning to use every bit how and when He sees fit. HE is Creator, Author, Painter –and ALL His work is perfect and beautiful –even through my imperfections, impatience, and doubts, or those of other people that may all try to stand in the way of His sovereignty. But that’s the thing about His sovereignty: nothing can oppose it. I now know better than ever before that I can rest and let my heart, mind, and soul be quiet, though I don’t always choose too. As I write this, I am reminded of Paul’s words, “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own” (Phil. 3:12).

I stand grateful for my fellow mountain climbers because blessed is this gypsy soul who has them to push me to fall back on my Solid Rock. I also stand amazed at how the Lord answers prayers, though certainly not always in the ways we think: yet His provided pieces of the puzzle fit so perfectly. He provides. He secures. He transforms. Yes, He leads me to the Rock that is higher than I am (Psalm 61:2). What I learned through this degree is more than just a piece of paper but exactly what my heart truly desired: a closer walk with Him, nearer to Him than before, more breath-taken by His nature and more confident of His truth, plan, and faithfulness. 

Abiding -Lord, Help Our Unbelief

“I am restless until I rest in You.” These words by St. Augustine firmly tie in much of the truths I have been hearing in church recently and challenging the very core of my life: the secret to life in Christ is truly resting and abiding in Him. As believers in and followers of Jesus Christ, we know we are promised eternal security, and this truth gives us peace towards the outcome of our lives. Yet, sometimes, it can be easy to feel restless in the today, in the here and now, and in the seemingly small, yet so tedious things we must do today. In our restlessness, we become so vulnerable to discontentment and we start running to anything, hoping and looking in them for peace, joy, and rest that only Christ can bring. We become so susceptible to attacks from the world, Satan, and our own selves.

We aren’t resting in Jesus.

Grounding every part of our hearts, minds, and souls in Christ on a daily basis sets the foundation for abiding in Christ and enjoying His rest we are promised every minute of our sometimes boring lives, regardless of our situation or position. While it is okay to look forward to the seasons we hope to come in our lives, we must also realize that part of fully trusting Jesus is waiting with a thankful heart. Charles Spurgeon explains this balance with the following: “[Those in Christ] have a laudable desire to make sure of [their] God-given talents and to find for [themselves] a position in which [they] may do more good to [their] fellowmen, but [they are] not unrestful, anxious, fretful, grieving, or grasping. [They are] contented and thankful.” There is joy in embracing the current season and position we are in because we know that God wants to use us wherever we are –and, as pointed out in church this past Sunday, there is absolutely no substitute for His joy. It is easy to daydream about the next season we hope to come; but it is just as easy to try to find comfort and satisfaction in this vision. Yet our preferred future should not and cannot provide us with the rest we long for. Without abiding in Christ today, our plans are but feeble attempts to feed our hungry souls, grasping for anything that can quench our longings and try to make ourselves feel better. Soon we realize that even in the things we love most, we absolutely need Jesus.

Only Christ can satisfy.

Dear readers, I don’t know what you are facing today. But I want you to remember that no matter how fierce the temptation, trials, or lies you face, you are truly called, uniquely beloved, and completely kept only by Jesus Christ (Jude 1:1). Just as you can only find eternal security in Him, you can only find rest, peace, and joy in this life through Him. John 15, straight from the mouth and heart of Christ, challenges us: “Abide in [Christ]…As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can you, except you abide in [Christ]…for without [Christ], you can do nothing.”

For without Christ, you can do nothing.

Try all you want, it’s true. I've tried it. And I know you have too.

How then, shall we find rest and the answers we truly need?

The secret is abiding in Christ. This beautiful phrase means we are spending time with the Lord, letting Him renew our minds by reading His Word, and leaving all our burdens to Him through prayer. As He begins to transform our hearts and minds, we are able to fight off the lies that attack us constantly either from other people or our own selves -from negativity, to hopelessness, to sin, to false teaching. Jesus begins to truly become our everything, enabling us to “take every thought captive” (II Cor. 10:5), becoming “more than conquerors” (Rom. 8:37), lighting the world with our testimony (Matt. 5:14-16), and truly, purely, joyfully abiding in Jesus (John 15:1-11). This is rest. This is His promise.

Lord, we believe, help our unbelief (Mark 9:24).

Another Opportunity to Grow

Big or small, the things that challenge us are allowed in our lives for probably more reasons than we can imagine or even will know about until glory. We don’t say for nothing that “God works in mysterious ways.” In our twenty-first century Western World, many of us enjoy mostly carefree childhoods without much awareness of the word “trial.” However, sooner or later, and sooner for some, suddenly our visions of perfect worlds and fairy-tales are shattered by the hard truth of life: trials happen –and they shake everyone. For some, financial distress rocks their boat while others face mind-blowing illness or tragedy. Many face seasons of life they do not particularly like: a job they need but detest; seemingly endless lack of friendships; sacrifices for diligence in a career, degree, family, or goal. Anything can be a trial for someone under the right circumstances –and trials vary from person to person and have different appearances. Yet, all can be for the glory of God and can serve as opportunities to know Him more, become more like Him, and spread His Word.

How shall we then approach this life reality that like a vicious, merciless disease, affects us all at one point or another? 

As believers, we should view trials as opportunities –not as get-rich-quick-schemes but as beautiful stories of redemption and victory by the blood and name of Jesus Christ. Hebrews 12:1-15 is just one passage from God’s Word that illuminates us on this reaction to trials.

Lay aside every weight and sin (v.1) –we don’t often realize how out of shape we are unless we start exercising or preparing for a physical goal of any kind; only then we begin more diligently eliminating certain negative dietary practices. I believe the same concept in life applies too: we do not necessarily notice our lack of spiritual endurance or discipline until trials come our way. A major part of seeing trials as opportunities is recognizing our need to cast some things out of our lives or adopt new ones. I find it interesting that the writer of Hebrews seemed to make a distinction between a “weight” and a “sin.” This suggested separation leads me to believe that a “weight” is probably typically not a sin –just something bogging us down in growth or endurance in our faith. Weights can be difficult to admit or give up…

Run with patience (v. 1) –oh, patience, the “mother of all virtues,” no wonder! One of my best friends and I often clamor about how easily patience has become a mother.
When we think of a patient person, we often envision a very positive, emotionally strong individual, full of grace and joy. That’s who we are supposed to be, even in trials. A definition I found on patience included the following: “state of endurance.” This description brings to mind a need to pace ourselves, to train –and to be sacrificial. Ouch. Maybe that’s why we struggle so much with patience!

Looking unto Jesus (v. 2) –this is one of my favorite parts of this passage. Verse 2 calls Him the “author and finisher” of my faith. This is so powerful: He is not only the One who has saved me from my sinful nature and destructive self –but He is also going to accompany me during the rest of my journey, transforming me one trial at a time. After all, “I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Phil. 1:6). I AM SURE. He is absolutely faithful when He calls (I Thess. 5:24). Not only is He our Author and Finisher, but He is also our ultimate example for perseverance through trials: He endured even the cross (Heb. 12: 2-3) because He had the long-term, eternal goal and reward in mind (Phil. 2:8).

Remember who you are: a child of God (v. 4-10) –He punishes and refines those who belong TO HIM. Whether your trials are your punishment or not, they are always there for your refinement (v. 11-15). Only, you have to choose to let them be just that. You can literally become better (more like Jesus) or bitter (v. 15). This reassurance reminds me a lot of Jeremiah 29 where the Jews were in captivity because of their sin; yet God encouraged them to continue LIVING, while they waited for their deliverance. This same concept still applies: make the most of every season, even those of trial, called or uncalled for. Our trials can yield to great transformation but we must look to Jesus for this (James 1:2-5). In fact, we can even GLORY in them because of how God can use them in our lives (Rom. 5:3-5) –and because even just going through them brings us closer to the One who went through the cross (Rom. 5:6; Heb. 12:2-3; Matt. 16:24; Phil. 2:5-6; etc.). We will thus be in the will of God (Rom. 12:2), which is “more important than life itself” (B. Hughes), as displayed so powerfully in Christ’s sacrifice on the cross to offer eternal deliverance and immediate joy (Matt. 26:36-46).

So I leave you with this:

“Lay aside every weight, and the sin that does so easily trip us, and let us run with patience the race that is before us, looking unto Jesus…” (Heb. 12:1-2). 

So Let Us Laugh

 Blessed is the [woman] who remains steadfast under trial (James 1:12).

In Genesis 18, we see the narration of life –a woman given a promise from God, one that is extremely laugh-worthy (like most dreams from God) yet that motivates her to try to make it happen in her own way (ex. Genesis 16). She is a typical woman: she worries about her ability (Genesis 18:12) perhaps because she had already tried to rely on it to attempt to control God’s plan by “helping Him out.” We women like to fall to the lie that God needs our help. Of course, we are to do our part –but we would benefit greatly if only we learned to discern between doing our part and usurping God’s place (Let It Go, K. Ehman). Yet, despite her error, God reiterates His promise in Genesis 18. Maybe that’s why Sarah laughed. Why would God still choose to use her to create a nation?

It’s not until Genesis 21 that the promise has begun to be fulfilled. Somehow, between Genesis 18 and 21, God changed Sarah’s heart. He filled it with faith, perhaps rekindling a faith she used to have. After all, she had accompanied Abraham throughout his whole journey, valleys and mountain tops. She had followed when he left all behind to pursue the one true God; and she had watched her husband deny their marital bond yet discover God protect her fully –not once, but twice (Genesis 12 and 20). She had come to know a God who remains faithful, good, and sovereign. Because of what God had allowed in her life, she could only conclude God’s steadfastness.

And isn’t that the goal for us all?

This is the story of the redeemed woman: God transforming a control-freak, conniving, doubtful soul of a woman into a mountain-building, dream-believing, nation-establishing giant featured in the “faith hall of fame” of Hebrews 11. God is faithful: He changes our hearts and fulfills His promises. “Knowing this, that the trying of your faith works patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and whole, wanting nothing” (James 1:3). Jesus and His work are everything –that’s what a woman should realize as she waits, as she endures, as she perseveres. It’s all about the heart change as He works because our story should be about how He gets us from Genesis 18 to Hebrews 11: “that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it be tried by fire, might be found unto praise and glory and honor at the appearing of Jesus Christ” (I Peter 1:7). 

Not just Sarah's heart changed; her laughter was transformed too. Once touched by the redemption of God, her mocking snicker turned into a victorious, confident chuckle because "strength and dignity [became] her clothing, and she laugh[ed] without fear of the future" (Proverbs 31:25). Her God was faithful. And He still is. 

So let us laugh.

*verse outline & connection between Gen. 18 & Heb. 11 from Women of the Bible -Beautiful and Brave by Rachel Wojo

You Can Have All This World

In the past couple months or so, God has completely transformed my perspective on my life. Or, rather, He has been working on this for a while –I just have now come to realize it.

Life –what is life?

Knowing the answer to that question is essential to our successful development and pursuits; but how quickly do we attempt to summarize it or produce our own version of repeated fluff?

For some, life is an adventure or a journey. Thousands through the ages find its answers in parties or work or esteem. Others found purpose in family or singleness. All have attempted to define it somehow.

Life is but a vapor, the Bible states (James 4:14), and all of us would be quick to agree. A timeless country song even challenges its listeners through its analogy “Don’t Blink” –because life slips through our hands. One heartbeat, one breath –one blink- can change everything you ever knew in an instant. Though we make plans and should be prepared for the future, we are not promised tomorrow (Proverbs 27:1). All of us have seen life flash by our eyes, with friends and loved ones stolen from us too quickly by death’s snatch.

Here I am almost finished with my graduate degree, and I have no idea what is coming next. The entire world is before me –while at the same time, maybe just a lonely mountain with a forgotten people could be my next abode. I have had so many questions, yet God has only repeated His century-old truth: “to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Phil. 1:21). Life is not about my will above all but rather about the triumph of His work: to know Him more and more day by day and to make Him known.

So now I must live with His entrusted truth: I must live TODAY fully with eternity in mind. I must live, laugh, love –TODAY. Today is all I have at this moment, and I must choose wisely how I will spend it in order to reflect my utmost purpose: to know Him and make Him known –TODAY. Coincidences become opportunities to grow in Him or to share His glory; life is no longer a solo adventure but a committed journey besides the Savior of my heart, mind, and soul. 

From the Blind

Pirate is a horse with only one eye. Yet, his trust towards his rider baffles me. Embracing adventures across the fields and woods, Pirate walks, trots, and canters with energy and enthusiasm. He is unafraid of the unseen but presses on with a seeming joy and carefreeness that often many other horses don’t exhibit. Oh, if only he knew what he teaches me…

I used to think that by age 23, I would have everything figured out. There is nothing more false than that childhood fantasy! In fact, it seems that my questions have only increased, my insecurities have only become more revealed, my lack of adequacy only more present, and my unknown future has turned into an understatement. But if I focus on what I do not know, I can only find discouragement and frustration. If I focus on dreams and on imagination, I will only find insignificance.

“Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.”[1]

No, I cannot focus on these things I lack, the prayers answered with “wait” or “no,” the thorns never removed, or even the dreams that may or may not come to pass, and the future I think I desire. These thoughts only become little gods that displace my Sovereign Lord from His rule in my life and His work through me. I can only focus on the gifts that He has given me today, knowing that these little steps are mine to take for His Kingdom. “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand” (Proverbs 19:21).

You see, you and I have it all wrong. It’s so easy to believe that this life is about us, about our castles in sands, about our dreams and goals coming to pass, about seeing fruits to our labor, and about our little worlds. Yes, God does choose to use our work –but He could still accomplish His plan without us. All He needs to do is speak, and that which He commanded comes to pass. “So shall My word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to Me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11).

Rather, what He desires most is for me to know Him more, for me to want Him more, and for me to glorify Him more through this growing relationship with Him. It’s not about rules and laws followed or the number of other souls I reach but about my heart truly loving Him. “For You will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; You will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise” (Psalm 51:16-17). Part of wanting Christ more, loving Him more, and glorifying Him more is learning to trust Him more and more, day by day –even in the dark, in the questions, in the pain, in the battles, in the struggles, in the failures, in the long hours of work. Just like Pirate, I need to embrace God’s adventures for me across the fields and woods of life, as He opens and closes the doors, one at a time, or a thousand all at once. In His strength and the confidence He gives me, I can go any speed He needs me to through the various seasons of my journey here –with energy and enthusiasm straight from His heart. I can be unafraid of the unseen and press on with true, secure joy and carefreeness…and watch Him use me to teach others about His truths.

“Eyes On You” –Shane & Shane

I don't know which way to go
But my eyes are on You
I don't know which way to turn
But my ears are to the ground
You say that I can hear Your voice
So I am listening

All I know is that I believe
It's not with my eyes that I can see
I'm a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me
There's a vision now in another eye
You've given sight to a man inside;
Of a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me

I still don't know which way to go
But my eyes are on You
I still don't know which way to turn
But my ears are to the ground
As long as You are lifted up
I don't have to understand

All I know is that I believe
It's not with my eyes that I can see
I'm a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me
There's a vision now in another eye
You've given sight to a man inside;
Of a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me

The battle is the Lord's
So I'll walk towards You in the dark
Cause I know that in the end we win
So I'm all in
Lead me I'm Yours

All I know is that I believe
It's not with my eyes that I can see
I'm a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me
There's a vision now in another eye
You've given sight to a man inside;
Of a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me

There's a vision now in another eye
You've given sight to a man inside;
Of a blind man fighting the world
Swinging back at me

---

[1] From “Be Thou My Vision”

But. Love.

As we pass through the seasons of life, we expect certain revelations from God –truths promised at last explained, answers begged for provided, and prayers met as we sought fit. Even though we repeat to ourselves that His ways are higher and better (Isaiah 55:8-9), we still act surprised when He answers in another way, when He brings us the unexpected, or when He sheds light on an issue not searched.

But. Love.

Love is what brings us the outcomes of our prayers, the results of our endurance, and the insight on His nature, even if none are what we had asked or wished for. In His love, He allows every detail. Even the tears. Even the heartache. Even the unexplained. Even the answered questions. Even the waiting. And even the unexpected insight. After all, some say that true love comes when you least expect it.

In our blinded mindsets, it’s easy to place love in a box. To quote one of my favorite songs,

Have you ever seen true love
And do you know what it's made of,
And where it came from?

Or could it be the world has left you blind
And every day you pass it by,
You don't even recognize it.

Recently, God has stretched some of my understandings of love, opening my eyes to some of the everlasting greatness of His love. True love would give anything, expecting nothing in return, expecting neither future nor promise of it. True love fights and endures when nothing makes sense. True love means praying in faith, trusting God’s sovereignty in the unseen. True love is not blind but accepts the mistakes –past, present, and future. True love sees the potential but victoriously endures through the reality. True love knows how to give space, to let go, and to establish boundaries. True love proclaims and lives out the promises of God.

We are lost in a world of chaos, misery, despair, lies, and destruction.

But. Love.

True love came down to save us and awaits for us to claim it personally into our lives. This love is the love of God as displayed through the sacrifice of His only Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus gave everything for us, yet expected nothing in return; in fact, He knew even our greatest songs of worship and acts of service would be but rags (Isaiah 64:6). He fought the temptations of Satan in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11) and endured the torture of the cross. Before His crucifixion, Jesus could be found on His knees, yielding His future to His Sovereign Father (Luke 22:42). When we approach Jesus, He, as God, is far from blind to all the sins we have committed…and will still fall to. Yet, He still comes when we call and promises grace to those who humble themselves before Him (James 4:6). Countless times we fail Him yet He still chooses to use us for the growth of His Kingdom (Mark 16:15). Yes, Jesus even gives us space –He knows only in our free will can we come to truly follow Him. In His holiness, He must establish boundaries –and in His perfection, every word and action of Christ is in accordance to His Word.

Yes. But. Love. Will you choose it? Will you embrace it?
Will you love like He loves?

Through Roses and Thorns

“In the world you will have tribulation” (John 16:33).

We have been promised this since day one. When Jesus came to earth to bring to pass the ultimate needed sacrifice for our salvation, He challenged His wanna-be followers that the road would be hard. It wasn’t really a matter of if, but rather when.

It’s easy to trick ourselves into thinking that our life path should be lined with roses. If you are a dreamer like me, it becomes easy to believe that the other side is greener, that once the goal is reached or the dream is lived, everything will be “just roses.” We writers often glory in the “happy endings” we can bring our stories to at our own whim and in our own timing. I am not advocating an attitude of martyrdom; but while God definitely blesses us beyond our sinful nature deserves, even rose bushes have thorns. Every season of life has its ups and downs, its glories and disappointments, its roses and its thorns.

Amy Carmichael, one of my favorite missionaries who has produced beautiful writing collections of honest and sincere faith before the Lord, challenges us with these words: “The Lord Jesus made it plain from the beginning that there would be trail of many kinds for all who would follow Him, and He Himself led the way in that path. Should we be surprised when we find ourselves following in His footsteps?” No, we should not be surprised. We should be humbled and moved to worship that He would call us to follow Him, even though our greatest works are rags and our best of intentions are tainted by our sinful nature. “He wants us all to understand quite definitely that if we follow in the way of the cross we must be prepared to take up the cross,” Carmichael continues. The way is long and difficult. It’s narrow and can be discouraging. It hurts and attempts to destroy us. Even on sunny days and through rows of roses we find thorns.

But this is where joy steps in. This is where being a follower of Christ comes to light.

When hardships and suffering hit, “you are now in a very good position to prove that gift of joy… [Now] is the time to prove the things we believe. Your whole life now is a proving of His power to enable you to do anything. You will never be able to fear again, I think, after all this.” Amy Carmichael hits it again: hardships only remind us of our existing frailty and incompetence that we so easily forget about when all seems to be going our way with little effort. Hardships remind us of our need of the cross –and serve as reminders to others of the glory and victory that comes only through Jesus Christ. Hardships turn us to the heart of Christ and invigorate us with fearless yet graceful strength that will not run dry. This morning when I read Proverbs 18, verse 10 struck me powerfully: “The name of the Lord is a strong tower” –SIMPLY HIS NAME declares His power and security.

We must come to “glory in our infirmities” (II Corinthians 12:9); we must come to the point where we are grateful for the hardships and challenges; we must welcome the opportunities to make more of His glory and power known. “Looking back, I know I would not have chosen any other [path with thorns] if I could have known when first I began to walk in it what it would mean of His companionship, and also of the power to enter into the griefs of others. It was all worthwhile, ten thousand times worthwhile.” It’s true. Trials draw us closer to Him and teach us things about Him and others that we would never even come close to comprehending without these difficult moments. They teach us to love more and be filled with His heart and mind. They show us His ways and open our eyes to His unseen, broadening our impact for His Kingdom and widening our opportunities to glorify Him.

In closing, let’s look at John 16:33 in its entirety: “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” We are not alone.

And through Him, we overcome the world too –even through the roses and thorns.

Why Does It Hurt?

Words can be the deadliest of weapons, the most grieving attacks to the human heart, mind, and soul –the cause of the most pain, suffering, and doubt.

Whether or not the words are true, they hurt. They are like darts piercing even through the most calloused heart, the most trained mind, and the strongest soul. They launch at the very being, the core of who we are, and at our very identity. Who we are becomes insignificant, a bother, worthless, and a waste. Even when others try to console us or our logic denies the legitimacy of the attacks, somehow the words echo and take over our thinking, paralyzing our judgment and crippling our efficacy.

Why is it so easy to fall to these attacks? Why is it so easy to believe the words? Why does it hurt?

Because deep down inside, we cannot deny our sinful nature –and our flesh and the enemy like to take advantage of this confession. We know that even if those exact words and accusations were not true, surely we must be guilty of something. And trust me: satan is quick to remind us of our failures, of our vulnerabilities, and of our struggles. He craves to have us dwell on them. If he cannot get us to fall, he will get us to become enslaved to a fearful victim mentality. As so powerfully said in a sermon I heard recently, “the fight for faith is the fight for joy.” Darkness wants us to lose our efficiency for the Kingdom –and it starts by stealing our joy.

So what can we do?

No, we are not to deny our human frailty, our double mindedness, our sinful nature and desires. Rather, we are actually supposed to admit and confess them. But confessions are not the last step –they are only the first. These should become our testimony, our indication to the world of the general need for Christ, and a declaration of His amazing power and love. Our brokenness then only becomes an opportunity for Christ to work and for us to declare His glory (from Standing Firm by Donna Partow).

If you are battling the hurt of words today, remember who you are IN THE LORD. Don’t turn to your own worth or accomplishments because those do not stand. Any things we view as good in our lives are but rags in the eyes of a holy God (Isaiah 64:6). Rather, place your worth and boast in Jesus Christ alone: “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (II Cor. 12:9). The next time someone tells or makes you feel you are worthless, tell them it is true BUT that Christ has made you worthy through the power of His blood in His perfect sacrifice. “We have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us” (II Cor. 4:7). Our lives, our accomplishments, our growth, and our prides are but jars of clay –they shatter so easily! But God can still use them because He wants and chooses to –because to Him goes all the glory and praise. “So that, as it is written, ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord’” (I Cor. 1:31).

"No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper; and every tongue that will rise against you in judgment you will condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, says the LORD." -Is. 54:17

THERE IS POWER IN THE NAME OF JESUS

The Shadow of Death

“We as Americans are so blessed and do not have to fear death as much as so many children do around the world,” I commented to the small group of young girls gathered around me at the fire pit. “But a lot of times it feels like we are dying inside –and that can be just as scary.” Several of the girls nodded their heads at me. I could see their thoughts racing, remembering challenging situations their young years had already seen.

It’s true. Dying inside is scary.

It’s as if we were walking, alone and aimless, through a forest of deep, swallowing green, with no clear path but briars and thorns instead catching at our bare arms. It feels like darts are being thrown at our heart, at our very being, or at what we love most –but no one else can really see them.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.

This often quoted Psalm used to always make me think of desperate physical situations: soldiers surrounded by the enemy, struggling just to stay alive and committed to their country; a child fighting for his life after being hit by a car; or an elderly person slipping away from this world into eternity. But now I know. Death is not always what is seen or broadcasted on the news. Being challenged by the people we love, making life-impacting decisions, and choosing the narrow path of Christ –all these can make us feel like we are dying inside.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for You are with me.

Contrary to an often believed myth of our comfort-loving culture, Christ never promised us an easy road. In fact, usually when an individual approached Him about the possibility of following Him, Jesus challenged this person immediately: it would be hard and possibly life-threatening.  His followers are to love nothing above Christ; their commitment to Christ must come first –and this requirement could mean much, much sacrifice. Possessions, comfort, family, desires, dreams, always being right, always getting the last word, and life itself -these no longer had first priority. In Standing Firm, Donna Partow states to her readers, “We want to live in a world where one plus one always equals two; a place where IF you do this, THEN you get that. Sadly, that’s not the real world.” And, though, we are no longer of this world, we are definitely still in its dark, sinful, hurtful environment. In fact, Christ followers ATTRACT the darts of evil (John 15:19).

YET, even in the valley of the shadow of death, He is there. “Even there will Your hand lead me, and Your right hand will hold me” (Psalm 139:10). When we think God is not at work, HE IS –it’s simply that His thoughts are not ours but higher and better (Isaiah 55:8-9). Somehow, He is speaking as much as ever, just not in the words, language, or volume we may think or prefer. A stranger’s prayer, a startling message, a quiet sense of peace by the pond in the evening, a surprise in the mail–He is at work. 

To Write or Not To Write -That Is the Question

Writing –thoughts put to words; songs of hurt or praise; prayers of plea, of deliverance, or of rejoicing; emotions placed between the parameters of a dictionary; truth expressed with flawed vocabulary. Writing is powerful –it always has been- and maybe even more powerful than the tongue. Writing lasts, is less easily forgotten, and now with modern technology, can convey opinions and facts across the world within seconds.

Maybe that’s why I John so heavily stressed his motives behind the writing of his letter. The writer knew the power of words –of the written.

Because I love writing so much, I found great encouragement, challenge, and guidance in his reasons for writing. I, too, should strive to match my scribbles to his standards. 

1.       “and these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full” (1.4)
JOY –there it is again! The beautiful result of salvation and of full surrender to the Lord. In my writing, I must seek to move people to discard discouragement to rather embrace joy. While I must speak truth and truth may hurt, I must speak it in love because love is the most powerful tool of change and of redemption (I Peter 4:8).

2.       “these things write I unto you, that you sin not” (2.1)
I must write to encourage others to cast away sin. As stated above, I must speak the truth –and truth often includes the pointing out of sin. Writing so can be challenging for many because we so easily follow the cultural trend of the fear of intolerance. But God does not tolerate sin (Habakkuk 1:13).

3.       “I write no new commandment unto you, but an old commandment which you have had from the beginning. The old commandment is the word which you have heard from the beginning.” (2.7)
This is beautiful. The Word of God does not change; His truth has always been the same, from the Old Testament through the New Testament, from the beginning to the end through eternity. I have no right to add or take away from His truth –I must write only according to His Word (Revelation 2:19).

4.       “Again, a new commandment I write unto you, which thing is true in him and in you: because the darkness is past, and the true light now shines” (2.8)
Yet, while the theme of Scripture has never changed, the Gospel stands in stark contrast with the legalism of old that had been wrongfully concluded from God’s commandments and standards of holiness. To those who had twisted His Words, the Gospel was new: it was freedom.  Today, the Gospel is still so new to so many. Thousands across the world and in our own neighborhoods still have never heard or read the truth about JESUS. My writing should direct the hearts of my readers to this amazing grace; my writing should have the power to carry itself throughout my Judea and Samaria and across the ends of the earth (Acts 1:8).

5.       “I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for his name’s sake. I write unto you, fathers, because you have known Him that is from the beginning. I write unto you, young men, because ye have overcome the wicked one. I write unto you, little children, because you have known the Father. I have written unto you, fathers, because you have known him that is from the beginning. I have written unto you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the wicked one.” (2.12-14)
God’s Word is applicable to everyone, to every age, to every maturity level. While uncompromising the truth, my writing should seek to pursue all groups…and should offer food to all who come with an open heart (I Peter 2:2-3).

6.       “I have not written unto you because you know not the truth, but because you know it, and that no lie is of the truth.” (2.21)
My writing should not only target nonbelievers but also those who already believe. As a Christian, I have the responsibility to outreach to those around me and raise them up as God empowers me in Christ’s name (Titus 2:1-6). I can’t stop with spreading the Good News of salvation but I must encourage discipleship and growth too.

7.       “These things have I written unto you concerning them that seduce you.” (2.26)
My words must warn of Satan’s deceptive ways. He walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour (I Peter 5:8). Any believer is vulnerable!

8.       “These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that you have eternal life, and that you may believe on the name of the Son of God.” (5.13)

This is probably the most important guideline for my writing: I must point my readers to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. My readers should walk away from their computer or close out of my blog posts having a better sense about their inadequacy before God’s holiness, their need for Jesus day by day, and His free offering to them of salvation through His name alone by humble faith (Matthew 18:13).

 Now I must rise to the challenge: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer” (Psalm 19:14).

Choosing Joy

JOY –such a beautiful word! Joy is much deeper than happiness: happiness is fleeting, depends on everything we see, taste, hear, feel. But joy comes from the peace and strength Jesus grants us daily. It is unconditional –or so it should be.

The life of those who follow Jesus should be one filled with joy. But how many of us walk around defeated, distressed, and depressed? We are convinced our circumstances or the people in our life or those missing from it are the cause of our slumped shoulders, deep sighs, and frowns; but really, we are destroyed from within. Yes, we do this to ourselves!

Joy is a choice, you see.

Joy can be yours if you follow Christ, but you must claim it for yourself. Accepting Christ is not an automatic potion to a life of joy. In fact, pursuing His calling often brings much, much difficulty; it rarely negates life’s hardships but sometimes brings about more. There may be great sacrifice in claiming His death and resurrection: after all, Galatians 2:20 states that we are crucified with Christ. Yet we can glory through all of it.

How then? By choosing to see it all through His eyes –and to let His still, small voice be our vision when our human sight is impaired.

In I Thessalonians, Paul encouraged believers to see their life as a beautiful calling from the Lord –and they should rejoice in this realization. “In everything gives thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” We can REJOICE in His will! It is worth being thankful for!  A few days ago, Amy Carmichael pointed out in her devotional Edges of His Ways the strong truth in Romans 15:13: God equips us with “all joy and peace in believing.” There is JOY in truly believing Him –in trusting Him, in choosing to view His plan through His unseen ways, and in pursuing Him in reckless abandonment.

“’Hush’ to the thoughts that would depress, for the day is holy; it is the day that the Lord has made, that we may rejoice and be glad in it. Let us join hands with Paul, and thank God and take courage” (Amy Carmichael, Edges of His Ways). It is HIS day for HIS glory, regardless of what may or may not happen. Temptations and trials, difficult people and disappointments, hurt and strife –as followers of Christ, you and I can still rejoice through it all. We must trust Him to use it all for His plan and for His glory. So let us rejoice and be strengthened by His JOY.

"What though the way is long

In Thee my heart is strong

Thou art my joy, my song..." 

-Amy Carmichael

In or Of: Whom Do You Fear?

When what I am reading in a class coincides powerfully with a theme in my current Scripture studying while challenging me in my daily life, it becomes all the much more powerful and personal, as if God’s Spirit were drawing lines in my dot-to-dot designs in my head of what my walk with Him should look like. A couple weeks ago I started reading Genesis, a little nervous of this Bible adventure. I am not positive I have ever finished that book or read it in its entirety at once. But, reading it became a dare I could not resist.

I have now reached chapter 33 and have noticed a reoccurring theme. Frequently, the narration includes God providing man with a promise, as if giving him an inside view of His plan and that man’s role in it. The man accepts and embraces it, clinging to it with all his might and emboldened for his journey. However, soon come various challenges against this promise, forcing the man to make a bold decision in either a negative or a positive way. The negative would have been the easiest; but the positive would prove to be the best in the long run.

In his humanity, Abraham chose both negative and positive alleys. Out of fear for his life, Abraham introduces his wife as his sister to foreigners, not once but twice, and almost loses her to them. God intervenes, though, and spares them both. On the other hand, in the well-known incident of God requiring Abraham’s sacrifice of his long-awaited son Isaac, Abraham’s faith is undeniable; God must intervene again, but, this time, because Abraham had thrown everything –including God’s promise of many generations to come- at God’s feet in submissive, reckless obedience to Him.

Lot undergoes similar choices as well. While living in a sinful city along with his family, he is offered a way out before God brings destruction to Sodom and Gomorrah. Even with the knowledge of the looming annihilation of his city, Lot does not care to hurry his family out. Rather, Scripture states that Lot took his time and God had to intervene again: the angels had to pull him and his family out of the city. Lot was so concerned about the seen and the things of this world (the city, perhaps his belongings, his lifestyle) that he and his family came very close to dying. Lot was so focused on this world that God was not GOD in his life. After that escape, God urges Lot to flee to the mountains for refuge. Yet, Lot responds with fear and prefers to stay in the city of Zoar, in his opinion safer than the wilderness. It is incredible and challenging to see just how much FEAR (fear of everything except fear of God) kept Lot from probably following God’s best for him and even for his daughters too who felt forced to take matters in their own hands in order to preserve their family tree.

Again, this time in the life of Jacob, we see fear of man and his temporary threats colliding with faith in God and His promised plan. Countless times, Jacob moves in FEAR of this world and relies on deception to try to mold his life into what he knows is God’s plan for him. Jacob even physically wrestles with God or an angelic being, as if God were stating, “Stop living and acting in fear, Jacob. Don’t you believe in my promises, in my presence, in my plan? Will you fear me or continue to fear men?”

Today, God is asking me the same question –and He is asking YOU that too. It is not my job to tell you what about specifically; only you in your heart can know that for sure as you follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. But I know I would rather God intervene in my life because I have trusted His plan in fear of Him than because He is working against what I have planted in fear of this world.

There are so many things we can focus on in this world instead of GOD, our relationship with Him, and His plan for this world! SO MANY: possessions, relationships, success, dreams, insecurities, safety, reason, fear, destruction, etc. -the list goes on. It’s good to think about those things –we are “in” the world after all. BUT we cannot be consumed by them. We are NOT “of” this world. The only thing we should truly be consumed by is the world we actually belong in…the eternal, the unseen, the relationship we have with Christ. Once we realize and embrace this, we become truly free to fulfill our part in His grand plan. We become truly only “in” this world and not “of” it. Fears of worldly concerns vanish; godly confidence steps in. People’s words still hurt our human heart but cannot touch our invincible soul. Darts and stones may end our breath here on earth, but this ending is only waking up at Jesus’ feet before the throne of God. Yes, “in” this world…but oh not of it!! So I must focus on my GOD, my relationship with Him, His promises, His plan, and my part in it…then will my eyes be opened to His beautiful, powerful, eternal, unseen…

Nancy Pearcey explains this concept in her book Total Truth with the following: “for the believer…the natural world is only part of reality. A complete perspective includes both the seen and the unseen aspects of reality…Day by day [Christians] are to make choices that would make no sense unless the unseen world is just as real as the seen world” (p. 361-362).

UNLESS THE UNSEEN WORLD IS JUST AS REAL AS THE SEEN WORLD.

As if those words were not powerful enough, Pearcey then challenges her readers: “The only way the church can establish genuine credibility with non-believers is by showing them something they cannot explain or duplicate through their own natural, pragmatic methods –something they can explain only by invoking the supernatural” (p. 363).

SOMETHING THEY CANNOT EXPLAIN OR DUPLICATE THROUGH THEIR OWN METHODS.

God’s plan doesn’t always make sense in our boxed-in human minds. God’s ways are not our ways but higher. God’s timing is perfect and beautiful. God carries out ALL of His promises. We are to live for eternity. We like to quote these truths to our Sunday School classes, print them on magnets for our refrigerators, and highlight them as comforting pieces in our Bible. 

But do we truly live them?

Our Hearts

Why does God allow suffering to His faithful?
Why are dreams so long to become fulfilled and sometimes never come to pass?
Why does He seem so silent at times while the world is quick to speak its opinions?

I read Job in a week. I’m not sure if a book in the Bible has ever captivated me so fully and so wholeheartedly. Portrayed as a man faithful to his God, Job enters an incredible sequence of events that completely shake his entire life: in a matter of minutes and as a result of spiritual warfare, everything (except his negative wife!) was stripped away from him. We don’t know how long his agony lasted, but part of his suffering included a constant outpour of various words and opinions from his “friends.” Every single one of them had an opinion; and while each opinion held truths within it, it did not address Job’s real issue. Then God stepped in. He did not answer Job’s questions; rather, He pointed out His sovereignty. Job was absolutely humbled; how foolish he had been to try to explain the meaning of what was happening to him. While God blessed Job in unmeasurable material and familial ways in the long run, Job received the most important gift right after God’s words humbled him: a true heart for God –not a heart after sacrifices and ordinances, but a heart after the Almighty.

Yesterday, I began reading I Samuel. I jumped into a storyline early on that I had expected; but I also discovered a similar theme to Job that I had not foreseen. I Samuel begins with an insight in the life of a woman, Hannah, desperate for her own child. She and her family are seen as faithful to God through their regular prayers and sacrifices, similarly to Job’s situation prior to his moment of desperation. Hannah, too, is persecuted, though mainly emotionally. Her dream for a child was honorable –yet God did not seem to be fulfilling her vision. Eventually, He did provide her with a son, Samuel, who would do wonders through God for Israel. Why did God make Hannah wait? What did God want of her?

He wanted her heart…just like He wanted Job’s…and He wants ours.

There is no telling how Hannah would have been toward God and the future of her son had she not had to wait, had she not had to endure the pain from the words of her husband’s second wife. There’s no telling how Job would have continued viewing God had he not been tried. Would both Hannah and Job have continued in simply following the rules and offering sacrifices rather than truly pursuing the heart of God?

The desires God places in our hearts are for a very, very, VERY specific reason; but if we try to meet them on our own timetable or if we pursue them more than the One who gave them to us, we risk missing quite a bit of beautiful growth in the Lord –we risk missing what He wants most for us: a heart after Him and His purposes. Jesus boasted of Mary’s best decision: to choose the “good portion” of life (Luke 10:41-42), pursuing the heart of God. Similarly, God looked past David’s human mistakes and still had him remembered for his most important trait: a heart after God’s (Acts 13:22).

So to those of you waiting for your dream to come, to those of you praying for healing, to those of you who are confused about your next step, remember that if your heart is after God’s, you already have everything. Let your heart pursue Him, confessing His sovereignty. He CAN be trusted. “He suffered you to hunger…that He might make you know that man does not live by bread alone…” (Deut. 8:3) –He wants us to have the most important part of life: satisfaction in Him, in pursuing Him, in knowing Him. Forget the calling, forget the mission; yes, those are important. But what He wants most is our heart. As so beautifully said by Amy Carmichael, “It is a safe thing to trust Him to fulfill the desires He creates.”