Hit by the harsh reality that I felt so unprepared for an upcoming important certification test yesterday, I started crying, my head buried in my lap. For some reason, I looked up, and my eyes rested on a random Bible verse I had highlighted in my Bible a few months ago: In the day when I cried Thou answeredst me, and strengthenedst me with strength in my soul" (Psalm 138:3).
STRENGTH -My Lord promises STRENGTH. He doesn't promise deliverance. He doesn't promise freedom from failure, disappointment, toil, busy schedules... But He promises to answer...and to give strength. He may choose to let me pass this certification test the first time. He may allow me to never have to set aside hours for its preparation past these next two weeks. He may allow sucess. But He may also choose to make me wait longer, study more...Either way He promises to hear my cries, my prayers...and He promises STRENGTH through it all. It's the same with life. Really, a lot of this past year has shown me that -just look at my past posts! A lot of times it didn't look like He was answering as I thought He should. But He always did, and He always gave me STRENGTH. Many times He had to wait until I was willing to be turned to clay with the heart of a child, but over time, He molded me.
The rest of the day, the more I rested in this truth, the more I found strength in Him. Then, this morning, I received news that was very unexpected and that, probably a few months ago, would have shaken me to the bone marrow. Yet, I'm okay with it. God made me okay with it -He molded my heart into that of a little girl, strengthened by her Father's might, awed by His provision of strength, and prepared by His grace. What happened, so strangely close to my birthday, is as if God wanted to symbolize and remind me of some of the lessons He had been so patiently trying to teach me this past year: Oh, yes, He definitely did answer my many prayers -and He gave me STRENGTH! There is beauty in letting go, beauty in waiting, beauty in moving on and living, beauty in trusting Him -I am so THANKFUL that God prepared my heart and strengthened me.
Just as God prepared me and strengthened me for this moment of revelation this morning, He will prepare and strengthen me for whatever happens with this certification process...and anything else in my life that is to come. Heartbreaks, pains, disappointments, marriage, children, rural living, success, death -the life cannot stop!- He WILL prepare me and strengthen me if I keep my eyes and heart on Him. He will mold me in just the way He knows I should be.
