Manufactured & Mainstream

To be honest with you, I’ve been struggling a lot recently with certain situations that have come up in my daily environment. It’s as if that now that I am done focusing so much on my certification tests, I have found a new hurdle that I must learn with patient endurance to leap over, to soar over with wings as eagles, to jump over better than a conqueror would, and to land firmly planted on Solid Ground. It makes me wonder where all these obstacles come from that can either steal my joy or teach me to have faith that moves mountains.

“To great sections of the Church the art of worship has been lost entirely, and in its place has come that strange and foreign thing called the ‘program.’ This word has been borrowed from the stage and applied with sad wisdom to the type of public service which now passes for worship among us.” These words by A. W. Tozer back in the 1940s seem to ring so powerfully true today. They address some of the murky thoughts that have been battling in my head and heart for a while… What have we become? It bothers me that some worship pastors in mega-churches make millions while rural communities within the same state boundaries have a crumbling building; it bothers me that some overseas missionaries are glorified but we forget to plant and harvest our own fields; it bothers me that “prosperity gospel” sermons become the latest craze but can’t really satisfy the starving masses. Don’t take me wrong: I would take a raise any day! And I believe we do need missionaries to go across the nations to grow the Kingdom of God. But is this what we are restricting ourselves to? If we don’t feed our own flocks, how can we expect to continue sending out the Word?

Maybe one of my biggest struggles is that my childish, utopian idea of a Christian environment is becoming tainted a crimson red fast and furiously. Why are we not better? Why do we bicker so? Why do we not work together, trust each other, believe mountains will crumble? All along growing up I blamed my problems on certain non-Christian influences or my location. Little did I know… No. We are still fallen. We still have a sin nature. And we must battle it. Wherever God leads us. Wherever God places us.

It seems weird to think that I feel so untrusting, so un-belonging, so estranged, so disconnected…even in a “Christian” environment. I dare not say that my situation compares to that of Daniel in Babylon and Medo-Persia or Esther in the king’s court, but am I catching yet another glimpse of what it means to live as a gypsy in this temporary universe, to be in this world but not of it, and to focus on the unseen? My roommate coined a word to describe the situation I feel that I am in: it’s as if it’s all “manufactured Christianity.” But isn’t that just what mainstream Christianity has become and not my current situation only? It’s terrifying, really, when you ponder upon its ramifications upon the Kingdom of God. Are we simply missing the point?

But where do we draw the line between growth, attempts to draw the masses, keeping the focus on the cross of Jesus, and becoming successful–is there any more black and white? Where is the line in the sand? Should I really be the one drawing it?

“Has a nation changed its gods, even though they are no gods? But my people have changed their glory for that which does not profit. Be appalled, O heavens, at this; be shocked, be utterly desolate, declares the Lord, for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.” –Jeremiah 2:11-13

Water & Fire

Last night and this morning, I was thinking about possible impacts of praying "God, use me to change lives and win souls." As Christians, we sometimes receive this glorified sense of haughty accomplishment if we repeat those words, it seems. We get "all fuzzy inside" because we think we're promising this great thing to God when really, a lot of times we just think what WE do is getting us closer to Him or what WE say will make us more dedicated Christians.

In all honesty, for some reason when I thought those words last night, I got a little scared -overwhelmed. Again, this morning, reading through Isaiah, I thought again about the ramifications of truly asking God to use me any way He thought best. All the examples ran through my head...Bethany Hamilton, slain missionaries, Christians in freak accidents after praying that prayer, you name it ("funny" how the devil likes to do that to us!). My next words to God were, "I don't think I can honestly pray that -I'm too scared! I'd love it if all those things didn't happen to me! I don't want to get tortured, I don't want to face the temptation of denying Your name, I don't want to get into a car accident..."

At that point, I was starting to remember how He strengthened me and truly prepared me in the past (see last post). Surely He would do the same if any of these above mentioned things were to happen to me! Then, I read Isaiah 43:1-7, because it was next in my Bible reading...It blew me away. I know that this passage is primarily geared to Israel, God's chosen people; but I believe it is also applicable to Christians like me, a "redeemed Gentile."

But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and He that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle thee. For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Savior...Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been honorable, and I have loved thee...Fear not, for I am with thee...Even every one that is called by my name: for I have created him for my glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him.

Case closed.