Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Our Hearts

Why does God allow suffering to His faithful?
Why are dreams so long to become fulfilled and sometimes never come to pass?
Why does He seem so silent at times while the world is quick to speak its opinions?

I read Job in a week. I’m not sure if a book in the Bible has ever captivated me so fully and so wholeheartedly. Portrayed as a man faithful to his God, Job enters an incredible sequence of events that completely shake his entire life: in a matter of minutes and as a result of spiritual warfare, everything (except his negative wife!) was stripped away from him. We don’t know how long his agony lasted, but part of his suffering included a constant outpour of various words and opinions from his “friends.” Every single one of them had an opinion; and while each opinion held truths within it, it did not address Job’s real issue. Then God stepped in. He did not answer Job’s questions; rather, He pointed out His sovereignty. Job was absolutely humbled; how foolish he had been to try to explain the meaning of what was happening to him. While God blessed Job in unmeasurable material and familial ways in the long run, Job received the most important gift right after God’s words humbled him: a true heart for God –not a heart after sacrifices and ordinances, but a heart after the Almighty.

Yesterday, I began reading I Samuel. I jumped into a storyline early on that I had expected; but I also discovered a similar theme to Job that I had not foreseen. I Samuel begins with an insight in the life of a woman, Hannah, desperate for her own child. She and her family are seen as faithful to God through their regular prayers and sacrifices, similarly to Job’s situation prior to his moment of desperation. Hannah, too, is persecuted, though mainly emotionally. Her dream for a child was honorable –yet God did not seem to be fulfilling her vision. Eventually, He did provide her with a son, Samuel, who would do wonders through God for Israel. Why did God make Hannah wait? What did God want of her?

He wanted her heart…just like He wanted Job’s…and He wants ours.

There is no telling how Hannah would have been toward God and the future of her son had she not had to wait, had she not had to endure the pain from the words of her husband’s second wife. There’s no telling how Job would have continued viewing God had he not been tried. Would both Hannah and Job have continued in simply following the rules and offering sacrifices rather than truly pursuing the heart of God?
The desires God places in our hearts are for a very, very, VERY specific reason; but if we try to meet them on our own timetable or if we pursue them more than the One who gave them to us, we risk missing quite a bit of beautiful growth in the Lord –we risk missing what He wants most for us: a heart after Him and His purposes. Jesus boasted of Mary’s best decision: to choose the “good portion” of life (Luke 10:41-42), pursuing the heart of God. Similarly, God looked past David’s human mistakes and still had him remembered for his most important trait: a heart after God’s (Acts 13:22).


So to those of you waiting for your dream to come, to those of you praying for healing, to those of you who are confused about your next step, remember that if your heart is after God’s, you already have everything. Let your heart pursue Him, confessing His sovereignty. He CAN be trusted. “He suffered you to hunger…that He might make you know that man does not live by bread alone…” (Deut. 8:3) –He wants us to have the most important part of life: satisfaction in Him, in pursuing Him, in knowing Him. Forget the calling, forget the mission; yes, those are important. But what He wants most is our heart. As so beautifully said by Amy Carmichael, “It is a safe thing to trust Him to fulfill the desires He creates.”

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Simply Duty






So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded say, ‘We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do’ (Luke 17:10).



This evening, I started to really seriously look at my upcoming coursework for my next class that is about to begin. To be completely honest, I started to feel that big drowning feeling in my stomach rising through my chest: the big “o” word –overwhelmed, especially since this course is supposed to overlap with another one that looks twice as more intense and demanding. Suddenly, I had to laugh at myself, at my fear, and at my future! I can’t let myself get overwhelmed, but rather I should remember what, or rather Who, this entire degree is all about: His work and His alone. It’s about my taking a leap into the unknown, about walking on water…with just the sound of His Spirit to lead me and with my eyes wide open to continue to see His beautiful painting come alive before my heart, mind, and soul. In fact, He has already begun to reveal to me part of it in ways that only point to Him. Nobody else may quite see it as I do; others may even view me as crazy. But all that matters is that I, I do know. And as I know and remember, I grow and am left only more and more in humble awe and sincere emptiness, ready for Him to fill and overflow me over and over and forever.



But as I move to embrace every day as an adventure with and for Him, I cannot fall to the temptation to pat myself on the shoulder for such a choice. It is, rather, just my mere duty to Him. Following Him, picking up my designed cross, forsaking this world and its empty promises, seeking His face above all, breathing in and out His Word, and obeying His still, small voice –this is only and simply my calling. Just as Jesus tried to explain to His disciples many, many years ago, I need to recognize that to choose any other walk is foolish…and to cling to His promises while trusting and obeying is my only reasonable service, the essence of true life, and the summary of any lasting legacy. We have done what was our duty to do. Simply my duty –no accolade should be expected. What a foreign concept for my human, sinful mind swamped by a culture that worships self, seeks personal advancement and comfort above all, and desires to prove itself worthy! Everyone and anyone desire a prize, some sort of trophy –but do we really deserve it?

Micah 6:8 states that what God REQUIRES of me is to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with Him. Through Christ’s strength, this has become my duty. Will I accept it with joy this year of 2014, only hoping to hear one day, Well done, good and faithful servant (Matthew 25:14-30)? Will YOU?